Crossfire (1947)

Directed by Edward Dmytryk
My rating: 3 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Warner Bros)

A good film noir starring three Bobs: Montgomery, Mitchum and Young. Montgomery's performance is probably the strongest, but he's got the most to work with as the killer with a hatred for Jews. Montgomery is not bad as the cool, calm and collected police detective. Mitchum is one of many Army pals involved in the complicated murder. All of the noir conventions are here: dry narration, long flashbacks, a disillusioned detective... there is no femme fatale per se, although Gloria Grahame does her best. The racist angle is not really explored, its basically a motive for the killing and nothing else. Interestingly enough, in the original novel it was not antisemitism but homophobia, and there are still some subtle hints of that if you follow along closely.

Man in the Middle (1963)

Directed by Guy Hamilton
My rating: 3 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, 20th Century Fox)

Robert Mitchum is an Army Colonel assigned to defend a Lieutenant who killed an English soldier in cold blood. It's set in India towards the end of WWII, and the US wants to keep on good terms with the English. So, the accused is railroaded into a court martial and Mitchum ordered to let him hang. There is only one problem, the murderer is obviously insane. Mitchum faces a moral dilemma, do what he is ordered by Army brass for the "greater good" of the war effort and let a sick man be hanged, or defend him at trial with an insanity plea. It's not an easy choice, since Mitchum is a career Army man and decorated with medals, and disobeying orders could easily mean getting kicked out. Things come to a head in the excellent court scene at the end, with Mitchum particularly effective at cross examination of a belligerent Major who is covering up essential evidence.

Boothill Brigade (1937)

Directed by Sam Newfield
My rating: 1.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, VCI Entertainment)

Homesteaders are threatened by a local rancher who is buying up all their land. Johnny Mack Brown unites them against the rancher and his henchmen. I'm guessing 90% of the run time shows people riding on horseback.

Summertree (1971)

Directed by Anthony Newly
My rating: 2.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Sony)

A young Michael Douglas stars in this time capsule of the early 70s when the Vietnam War was at the front of every young man's mind. It's a story of lost innocence, as symbolized by the tree at his parent's house he used to climb as a child. Douglas is an aspiring guitarist having second thoughts about college. He falls in love with a charming Brenda Vaccaro, his first real relationship, but it is not without problems. Douglas drops out of school, subjecting him to the draft, but applies to a music conservatory which would put him back on the deferment list. He isn't accepted which leads to the film's dramatic, downbeat conclusion. The filmmaker uses some rather obvious foreshadowing, graphic footage from Vietnam is constantly shown on TV and Douglas' father is a hunter, so the ending should not be unexpected for the attentive viewer. Look fast for Rob Reiner and Teri Garr as a hippie.

The Crooked Trail (1936)

Directed by S. Roy Luby
My rating: 1.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, VCI Entertainment)

Johnny Mack Brown saves the life of a bandit who has fled to the desert. They become partners panning for gold in a dry creek, Johnny trusting him implicitly. The others miners want him to become marshal of their mining community, and when trouble breaks out in the local saloon Johnny refuses to believe his friend and partner had anything to do with it. There is a romance with the lovely blond Lucile Browne.

Trouble in Texas (1937)

Directed by Robert N. Bradbury
My rating: 1.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, VCI Entertainment)

Tex Ritter programmer that does feature some interesting historical footage of a real rodeo. We get to see some real Indians, fancy ropers, bronco busters and bulldoggin'...at least that's what they called it. The plot borrows from mysteries that were popular at the time with bad guys using poison needles hidden in the bronco bustin' ropes. Tex and his Tornadoes sing some good songs, but a real downer of a gospel song was an odd choice to sing in front of the large rodeo crowd!

Charlie Chan's Secret (1936)

Directed by Gordon Wiles
My rating: 2.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, 20th Century Fox)

Static Chan entry that takes place almost entirely in one room and closely follows the "old dark house" formula. An heir long believed dead suddenly shows up to claim his inheritance. However, he is soon murdered. The suspects resort to kitschy seances in order to reveal the murderer. Maybe I've seen too many of these Charlie Chan movies, but I guessed both the murderer and the other big surprise fairly early in the proceedings (I mean Charlie Chan make a mistake, no way!). However, the ending was quite good and made up for many deficiencies.

Six Pack (1982)

Directed by Daniel Petrie
My rating: 2.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Anchor Bay Entertainment)

I wanted to dislike this film, by all appearances a dreadful "family comedy" starring Kenny Rogers of all people. He is a poor actor and his character an unlikable womanizer. I wanted to hate all six kids, including a foul-mouthed little brat right out of the Bad News Bears and the cute youngest kid with a lisp. The plot centers around stock car racing, which I find about as exciting as watching paint dry. Many scenes take place in trendy country bars with line dancing. There is a hit song, "Love Will Turn You Around", repeated ad nauseum throughout the film. Somehow, against all of these negatives, I was won over. Perhaps it was the time period, the early 80s, which is when I was in high school myself. Perhaps it was the setting, the South, where I grew up, including some scenes in Biloxi, Mississippi. But probably it was Diane Lane, who at 18 was exactly my age in 1982, and the stuff of teenage fantasy.

Operation Ganymed (1977)

Directed by Rainer Erler
My rating: 3 stars out of 4
IMDb
(VHS, Marathon Video)

The surviving crew of a mission to Jupiter's moon has lost contact with Earth for nearly 3 years. When they finally reach home, they decide to crash land in the ocean. They wash ashore near a desert in Mexico, and the film becomes a tale of survival. After an arduous desert crossing they find a town but no people. They begin to speculate that maybe there was a nuclear accident, or worse a nuclear war, that has wiped out the people. They decide to go north to San Diego, another long journey along a dune swept highway. All the while, the heat and thirst lead to hallucinations and flashbacks to Jupiter. As with the best sci-fi, the ending is a matter of interpretation. It has its problems, the soundtrack frequently resorts to canned music (but also has some nice, moody synthesized moments) and the special effects can show the lack of budget, but overall this is a gem in desperate need of restoration and rediscovery in this age of overblown, dumb-downed, CGI blockbusters.

Born to Kill (1947)

Directed by Robert Wise
My rating: 2 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Warner Bros)

Claire Trevor stumbles upon the bodies of recently murdered friends in Reno. Instead of calling the police, she takes the first train out of town, which happens to be the same thing the murderer did. They meet, fall in love, and when she finally figures out who he is it's too late. She is obsessed with her love for him, like every other woman he meets. He marries her best friend for her money and power. Lawrence Tierney is the cold, silent killer, similar to his role as Dillinger, and I don't understand how these women could not see straight through him. His pal Elisha Cook is also a weird one, covering up for Tierney at every chance. Overall, I found it talky, poorly acted and a bit overrated.

Ten Who Dared (1960)

Directed by William Beaudine
My rating: 2 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Walt Disney)

Innocuous Disney adventure tale about early explorers of the Colorado River and Grand Canyon in New Mexico. A group of ten men are assembled to take row boats down the river, led by a "scientist" played by John Beal. All of the characters are stereotypes: an Englishman who drinks, a Yankee and a Rebel who can't forget the Civil War is over, a wild mountain man, a friendly young Irishman and his dog, etc. Brian Keith as the mountain man gives a very entertaining performance, particularly a bit with a rattlesnake. Mostly they fight amongst each other over petty differences, while Beal writes in his journal and collects fossils.

Louisiana Purchase (1941)

Directed by Irving Cummings
My rating: 2 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Universal)

Bob Hope in Technicolor takes a bit to get used to, but once the novelty wears off it ends up being just another thinly plotted vehicle for its leading man. The setting is New Orleans, or rather a gaudy Paramount sound stage that looks like New Orleans, where Hope is being pursued for shady business dealings by a naive Senator played by character actor Victor Moore. Hope plans to blackmail the Senator by catching him in a compromising situation, which is not too difficult in New Orleans. So we've got a lengthy scene in a stereotypical snooty French restaurant where Hope gets Moore drunk and then pays a girl to get friendly with him. In another scene we get a gaudy Mardi Gras parade, which is actually not all that far from the real thing. There are occasional songs, none memorable, a filibuster in the Senate and a happy ending. Hardly the "greatest musical comedy ever filmed".

Sunday Bloody Sunday (1971)

Directed by John Schlesinger
My rating: 2.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, MGM)

Glenda Jackson is a divorcee and Peter Finch a doctor who worship swinging London artist Murray Head, who takes advantage of both of them. We get icky sex scenes between Head and Finch and Head and Jackson. There is a long, long sequence in which Jackson and Head are babysitting a bunch of bratty kids, culminating with their dog getting run over. When Head decides to go to New York, Finch and Jackson go into a panic. Obviously Head is the crux of the film, and his character is shallow and trendy, making it difficult to empathize with his obsessive adoration by just about every one else in the movie. However, there is an interesting subtext of communication, or lack thereof, in the modern world that Schlesinger may be trying to explore, hinted at by recurring images of telephone circuitry and a brilliant opening montage, but it is not fleshed out.

Kolya (1996)

Directed by Jan Sverak
My rating: 2 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Miramax)

Louka, a middle aged bachelor living in Prague, makes his living as a musician, mostly playing funerals. He agrees to marry a Russian in exchange for cash. When she emigrates to the west, he is stuck with her little boy, Kolya. Bachelor and boy must find a way to live with each other. Louka is more or less a lecherous old man, he wastes no time in seducing a young music student while Kolya is in the next room taking a bath. He is also having multiple relationships with married women, frequently calling them on the phone and trying to convince them to come over and have sex. In modern America, this man would immediately have the child removed from his home. Kolya is Russian, and the Russians are invading Czechoslovakia, so there is some tired and obvious political symbolism. Finally, no opportunity is wasted to play up Kolya's cuteness, complete with "Mickey-Mousing" musical cues during a "lost at the train station" scene.

A Distant Trumpet (1964)

Directed by Raoul Walsh
My rating: 2 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Warner Archive Collection)

It's the US Cavalry against the last remaining Indian tribe, the Apaches, who are using Mexico as a hideout. The action takes place in the desert of south Arizona at Fort Delivery, a barren outpost with undisciplined men. Fresh West Point grad Troy Donahue arrives and is determined to turn things around. The men resist, of course, and this is the first half or so of the film. He meets unhappily married Suzanne Pleshette and they strike up an impromptu romance. Well, the Apaches are killing men left and right, and in gruesome ways, so a plan is devised by old General Quaint, venerable character actor James Gregory, to end the war once and for all. Donahue lacks the charisma to pull off the leading man role, and the film seemed much longer than its 2 hour running time.

Blood on the Sun (1972)

Directed by Ting Mei Sung
My rating: 1.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(VHS, Video Gems)

Underdog Chinese rebels are fighting Japanese invaders, who have a stranglehold on the community. Chinese salt smugglers are the target of the Japanese violence, helped by a local collaborator to root them out. The Japanese propose a "big fight" against the local martial arts school on stage in the public square. The locals don't fare too well, until Chou and Miss Liao get involved, who have skills far beyond everyone else. The film seemed much bloodier than others of its type, with a special fondness for blood spewing from mouths at every opportunity. There is also an abundance of bad moustaches.

Dillinger (1945)

Directed by Max Nosseck
My rating: 2.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Warner Bros)

Biopic of Dillinger starts off with a newsreel in a contemporary movie theater. Dillinger's father walks on stage, and tells the story of his son's life in flashback for the remainder of the film. The low budget really hurts, especially an over reliance on stock footage for the action scenes, which don't always match up with the rest of the movie. Lawrence Tierney plays Dillinger as the low key and controlling type, gradually commanding every move of his gang. He goes on the lam with beauty Anne Jeffreys, eventually ending up at the famous Biograph in Chicago.

Fire (1977)

Directed by Earl Bellamy
My rating: 2 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Warner Archive Collection)

Another cookie-cutter, made-for-TV Irwin Allen disaster movie. There is the usual assortment of characters facing a raging forest fire as well as their personal problems. Ernest Borgnine is the good-natured owner of a lumber mill who readily places himself in danger to help others. He is in love with the owner of a vacation lodge, which is threatened by the fire. A group of school children are taking refuge at the lodge as well. One of them is missing in the woods in the middle of the fire. A married couple, also doctors, are bickering and considering divorce, but when pressed into duty discover they love each other after all. The fire is the big show, and it is a clever mix of stock footage and staged re-creations.

The Asphalt Jungle (1950)

Directed by John Huston
My rating: 3 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Warner Bros)

Heist film that set the blueprint for all heist films that followed. Sam Jaffe is excellent as the old German doctor recently released from prison. He's got a plan for the ultimate heist and assembles the necessary gang to do it. He needs a "box man", a "driver" and a "hooligan" to pull off the actual heist, but also needs money to back the plan and a fence to get rid of the goods. He finds these people in the backstabbing underground of an American big city. When things start to go wrong, true personalities start to emerge. One by one, the participants are either arrested or die, until there is only one left in the memorable ending. Impact today is somewhat dulled by the plethora of more graphic heist films since, but it excels at characterization that others sometimes overlook.

Three the Hard Way (1974)

Directed by Gordon Parks, Jr.
My rating: 2 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Warner Bros)

Three blaxploitation legends get together and make a boring movie. They have to stop a genocide planned by a white supremacist group as well as rescue Jim Brown's girlfriend. Brown recruits Bruce Lee-wannabe Jim Kelly and Fred Williamson to be part of his team. They spend their time in LA, Chicago, New York and Washington in shoot-outs with anonymous, red beret-wearing bad guys. Those fights are very poorly staged and go on forever, almost the entire second half of the film. However, the leather fashions are good for a few laughs.

Another Woman (1988)

Directed by Woody Allen
My rating: 2 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, MGM)

Woody Allen attempts to imitate his hero Ingmar Bergman, but instead makes an unintentionally funny satire. Gena Rowlands rents an apartment in which to write a book. She can hear everything said in the psychiatrist office next door. Woody can not resist this set up, and we hear a man talking about masturbation then a woman about suicide. Gena is a philosophy professor, my eyes roll and again I think this must be a comedy. In one scene her husband's ex shows up at a party, and he ushers her out the door saying "I accept your condemnation"...again funny, I thought. When she meets her childhood best friend by coincidence they have drinks together at a nearby bar. The friend thinks she is flirting with her husband and begins to chastise her about some other long forgotten boyfriend. The outburst is so absurd Woody must be going for laughs again, surely? Oh, and what about David Ogden Stiers playing the younger John Houseman, complete with a great Houseman impersonation? Hilarious! And then there is the ever present narration, so dry, so removed that it would have made Ed Wood proud.

Support Your Local Gunfighter (1971)

Directed by Burt Kennedy
My rating: 2 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, MGM)

This western comedy suffers from a plethora of overly familiar character actors. You've got Harry Morgan in angry Colonel Potter mode, James Garner in blank faced Rockford mode, Suzanne Pleshette doing the crazy southern gal bit, Chuck Connors as a well-dressed, bald gunslinger, Jack Elam and his lazy eye as Garner's good-natured sidekick, Joan Blondell as a saloon girl, and more. All of them are exactly what you would expect, no more and no less. The film is also horribly lit, most of it taking place at night under garish white lighting in an obvious back lot setting. It's occasionally funny, but never as much as you would hope.

Tonka (1958)

Directed by Lewis R. Foster
My rating: 2.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Walt Disney)

A sentimental Disney story about an Indian teenager and his horse. There are lengthy scenes where he catches and tames it in beautiful western locales. We develop a bond with both of them, so when the evil older cousin demands the horse for himself and then mistreats him, I felt just about as devastated as White Bull. He sets the horse free, in a scene reminiscent of Old Yeller, only to be recaptured and sold to the US Cavalry. The second half of the film chronicles this life, including the historical figure of General Custer and the Battle of the Little Bighorn. Of course the Indian boy and horse are reunited, in a somewhat contrived ending.

Never Say Die (1939)

Directed by Elliott Nugent
My rating: 3 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Universal)

Eccentric millionaire Bob Hope goes to Bad Gasswater Germany in search of a cure for an illness he doesn't have. His test results get mixed up with a dog, and Hope is such a hypochondriac that he believes he has some rare disease that will eventually kill him or turn him into a dog. Meanwhile, he is being forced into marriage by a lady who wants his money, which also happens to be the predicament of stranger Martha Raye. They meet and decide to marry each other instead. A crazy comedy that is very funny, the highlight being a duel at the end, remember: "There's a cross on the muzzle of the pistol with the bullet and a nick on the handle of the pistol with the blank".

Charlie Chan in Shanghai (1935)

Directed by James Tinling
My rating: 2.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, 20th Century Fox)

This is a very entertaining entry in the long running mystery series. Charlie is vacationing in Shanghai, home of his ancestors, but soon gets involved in murder. There are some fairly inventive clues and misdirection, an atmospheric water dock cafe and frequent comedy relief from Chan's son Lee.

Black Samson (1974)

Directed by Charles Bail
My rating: 2 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Warner Bros)

Huge Rockne Tarkington is the owner operator of a nightclub in south central LA. He carries a big stick and has a lion for a pet. Baddie William Smith wants to expand his drug turf into Rockne's neighborhood. When Smith resorts to intimidation and violence, Rockne gets help from the neighborhood street people. In a disturbing ending, the locals riot and kill all the white people while Rockne has it out with Smith. Manipulative film that pulls the race card to incite hate and violence. Good soundtrack by Allen Toussaint.

Trip with the Teacher (1975)

Directed by Earl Barton
My rating: 3 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, BCI Eclipse)

A group of teenage girls and their teacher take a school bus into the desert on a field trip. The bus breaks down, but they are helped by some bikers. Instead of bringing them to the nearest gas station they take them to an abandoned shack where they are tormented and raped. Zalman King is the sicko biker and he plays the part to the hilt. He is one of the creepiest screen villains I've seen in quite some time, reminding me of Dennis Hopper in Blue Velvet. The girls eventually get some help from a "good biker" and the bad guys meet violent deaths. This one is a sleeper in the exploitation genre and much better than its reputation.

Malibu High (1979)

Directed by Irvin Berwick
My rating: 2 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, BCI Eclipse)

Jill Lansing is Kim, a bored teenager living with her single mom and flunking out of school. When she gets dumped by her boyfriend, she decides to become a hooker for cash. Her pimp beats her up and takes most of the money she earns, so she becomes a high class hooker for another pimp who treats her well. He demands that she become a "hit girl" for the mob, and soon is relishing her role taking revenge on the men who have mistreated her for so long.

Caught in the Draft (1941)

Directed by David Butler
My rating: 2 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Universal)

Bob Hope and Dorothy Lamour star in this light service comedy. Bob basically plays himself, a rich movie star who is trying to avoid the draft. He gets tricked into enlisting trying to impress Dorothy, the daughter of a general. The second half of the film is in Army boot camp, with Hope trying to impress Dorothy so they can get married.

One on One (1977)

Directed by Lamont Johnson
My rating: 2.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Warner Archive Collection)

Robby Benson is a small town hick from Colorado who moves to the big city of LA. Life is easy on a basketball scholarship: he's got plenty of money, a job watching sprinklers and a hot tutor. However, he can't quite cut it on the basketball court against the bigger and stronger athletes. He is ostracized and bullied by the coaching staff, trying to force him to quit by renouncing his scholarship. He gets his chance in the big game, and of course surprises everyone by winning the game on the last second shot. Manipulative and not always credible, Benson's character goes from barely being able to read to quoting Moby Dick, it's nonetheless an enjoyable piece of 70s nostalgia.

Lepke (1975)

Directed by Menahem Golan
My rating: 2 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Warner Archive Collection)

A poor imitation of The Godfather, with all of the violence but none of the characterization. It quickly descends into a racially motivated gang war between the Jewish mafia headed by Tony Curtis and his Italian rivals. When one gang member is killed by an exploding plate of spaghetti, I knew this was going to be bad. No opportunity to exploit the violence is wasted, including an extended execution in the electric chair.

All in a Night's Work (1961)

Directed by Joseph Anthony
My rating: 2 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Paramount)

Breezy comedy has Dean Martin playing his usual womanizing character and Shirley MacLaine his slightly ditzy love interest. Dino inherits a magazine mogul's fortune after he dies in a hotel room in Florida, where Shirley just happened to be vacationing as well. After taking over the empire in New York, Dino is convinced Shirley is blackmailing him and the company. He decides to "reverse blackmail" her, leading to some unfunny attempts to catch her in compromising situations. I like Shirley, and she looks great in a towel, but this film simply lacks substance.

Gun Crazy (1950)

Directed by Joseph H. Lewis
My rating: 3.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Warner Bros)

Superb noir with perhaps the quintessential femme fatale played by Peggy Cummins. She is Laurie Starr, a sharp shooter in the local carnival. One night Bart walks in to see her show, and challenges her to a shooting contest. He just happens to be an ex-military trainer with a lifelong fascination with guns and beats her at her own sideshow attraction. He joins the show, and before long they strike up a passionate relationship. The owner, her former lover, kicks them out. They run out of money, and if there is one thing Laurie wants it's money, so she threatens to leave him. Out of options, Bart turns to a life of crime to keep her around. Soon they are criss-crossing the country, their crimes escalating from small time stick-ups to bank robbery and eventually murder. Relentlessly pursued by the police, they hide-out at Bart's sister's house, then are chased to the mountains. In a memorable finale they are hunted on foot by dogs through a swamp.

The Purple Heart (1944)

Directed by Lewis Milestone
My rating: 2.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, 20th Century Fox)

Dana Andrews is the Captain of a bomber squadron that has just completed a run over Tokyo but forced to bail out over China. They are captured, returned to Japan and put on trial for murder. Locked up in a cell, each member of the squadron is lead away to be "interrogated". The Japs want to know their origin, aircraft carrier or land, to better deploy their defenses. Each man returns having been subjected to different kinds of torture, one has a broken arm, another no voice, another wears rubber gloves to cover some kind of wound to his hands. Meanwhile, the trial continues, and they are tempted by an offer of amnesty in return for information. It's pure propaganda from the height of WWII: the Japs are demonized and the Americans sing patriotic songs and give speeches on how they didn't start the war, but by golly they are going to finish it.

Invasion of the Neptune Men (1961)

Directed by Koji Ota
My rating: 1.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Dark Sky Films)

Another demented sci-fi picture from Japan aimed at 5 year olds. The Neptune men reverse electricity, which causes records to play backwards in the juke box at the local malt shop. Luckily, a group of small kids with telescopes notice the flying saucers in the air and run over to the big research center to tell the professionals. They also do them the favor of finding samples of the spacecraft, which they run over to the lab. Run, run, run... those kids sure run a lot. The Neptune men finally show up in the city. When they are not in their usual helmet gear they disguise themselves as soldiers who wear thick mascara and lipstick, like no one would notice. The ending is a flurry of flying saucers vs "space chief", a super hero and friend of the kids.

Charlie Chan in Egypt (1935)

Directed by Louis King
My rating: 2 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, 20th Century Fox)

Chan pokes around the pyramids in search of the murderer of an American archeologist. He finds a sparkly mask that floats in the dark, a mummy whose body has been switched, sliding doors and hidden underwater chambers , Rita Hayworth as a native housemaid and Stepin Fetchit as the dimwitted, slow-talkin' servant "Snowshoes" from Mississippi.

Give Me a Sailor (1938)

Directed by Elliott Nugent
My rating: 2.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Universal)

Bob Hope finally appears in a movie with a real plot. He's a sailor who thinks he is in love with pretty Betty Grable, but really in love with ugly duckling Martha Raye. They cook up a plot to match her with his brother, who she thinks she is in love with, but the plan backfires and they end up realizing their true feelings. Raye is surprisingly tolerable in this screwball romp, and has good chemistry with her partner Hope.

Four Rode Out (1970)

Directed by John Peyser
My rating: 2 stars out of 4
IMDb
(VHS, USA Home Video)

Pernell Roberts is a sheriff chasing a man wanted for murder and bank robbery. The pursuit has led him to a small dusty town near a desert. The suspect's girlfriend and one Mr. Brown are also looking for him, and together they go deep in the desert. Sue Lyon, made famous by her role as Lolita in the Kubrick film, still looks lovely as the blond girlfriend with mixed emotions, and Leslie Nielsen is appropriately sleazy as Mr. Brown, who may or may not know the suspect. They eventually catch him, but must survive a long trek back through the desert. The soundtrack is by Janis Ian, whose warbly singing and guitar are woefully inappropriate. It's hard to take Nielsen seriously in anything, and Pernell Roberts has a very limited acting range. Still, an enjoyable desolate desert western if you are into that kind of thing.

Hot Potato (1976)

Directed by Oscar Williams
My rating: BOMB
IMDb
(DVD, Warner Bros)

Jim Kelly is Jones (apparently Black Belt Jones from his previous film), a detective sent to Thailand to rescue the kidnapped daughter of a Senator. He teams up with a Thai female detective, another fighter known as Chicago and an overweight buffoon known as Rhino. The film quickly reveals its hand: it's a comedy all the way, complete with cartoon sound effects accompanying the "fighting". Rhino virtually takes over the movie, with idiotic physical humor, ridiculous fight scenes and moronic love making. It's jaw-droppingly awful and a complete waste of beautiful Thai locations.

Drums Along the Mohawk (1939)

Directed by John Ford
My rating: 3 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, 20th Century Fox)

John Ford's Technicolor drama of colonialists trying to survive in the wild country of upstate New York is lively if a bit predictable. Life would be great if it wasn't for those darn Indians burning everything in sight. Fonda and Colbert lose everything not once, but twice! They retreat to the nearest fort and bunker down for a long battle. Some people die, others live, babies are born, just another day in the life of those hardy settlers.

The Howards of Virginia (1940)

Directed by Frank Lloyd
My rating: 1.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Columbia Tri-Star)

Revolutionary War drama is basically a fish-out-of-water story of aristocratic Martha Scott marrying backwoods Cary Grant and moving to the country. She eventually adapts, but never really accepts her situation, despite it being her own choice. Well, Grant is also a patriot, gets involved in politics and eventually war. Grant's wild-eyed, maniacal performance either makes or breaks the film, plus he's got a thick accent that I think was British. It just didn't work for me, and I found Grant's performance forced and unintentionally funny.

The Time of Their Lives (1946)

Directed by Charles Barton
My rating: 1.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Universal)

Abbott and Costello nonsense about a pair of ghosts from the time of the American Revolution haunting an estate in 1946. Lou Costello is the ghost, and his child-like demeanor is more annoying than funny. By the end of the film I was glad to see him going to the big pearly gates in the sky (literally). Abbott is one of the modern day people "haunted" by the ghosts, in the role of a psychiatrist. The "ghost" special effects are very poor.

The Set-Up (1949)

Directed by Robert Wise
My rating: 3.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Warner Bros)

Superb boxing drama set in real time. Robert Ryan is over-the-hill at 35, but still believes he is "one punch away" from a shot at the title. His wife can't stand to see him get beat up every night and contemplates leaving him. Unknown to him, his manager has taken money for him to take a dive against a younger and overwhelmingly favored opponent. The four rounds are shown in their entirety and in real time. The real fight comes afterwards, though. Robert Ryan's best performance and a classic of both noir and boxing.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002)

Directed by Chris Columbus
My rating: 2.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Warner Bros)

Another entertaining rendering of the world of Harry Potter, a world of magic, wands, potions and monsters. This one tries to balance scares with comedy, and for the most part succeeds. An early scene with Ron vomiting slugs was particularly memorable. However, after all was said and done I was left with the feeling it could have been more. I felt trapped in a video game with a series of ever more difficult situations to escape from or foes to beat. Harry and company seemed to be reacting to these CGI-produced situations more than acting, a symptom common in many modern films made primarily by filming on a studio set against a green screen.

Iron Mistress (1969)

Directed by Soong Tien Show
My rating: 2 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Crash Cinema)

A woman leads a group of Chinese rebels against the Tartars. She struggles over a decision to accept help from a local group of artisans lead by Hsin, who are smart but lack weapons or fighting experience. There is also a potential traitor amongst her followers. Occasionally bogs down in unnecessary romantic entanglements, but for the most part a solid story with some good swordplay. The film has many dark scenes, and Crash Cinema apparently made the decision to enhance them with a greenish night vision correction. Unfortunately, this "enhancement" comes and goes, even in the middle of the same scene, leading to a distracting strobe effect that ruins the mood.

Prince of Space (1959)

Directed by Eijiro Wakabayashi
My rating: 1.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Dark Sky Films)

Juvenile science fiction from Japan featuring a caped hero fighting aliens who wear big fake noses. They are lead by the Phantom of Krankor, who ends most of his sentences with some menacing belly laughs...heh heh heh. The most interesting scenes take place back on Krankor, including a giant guardian in bad make up. Impossible to take seriously, a classic "so bad it's good" film.

Charlie Chan in Paris (1935)

Directed by Lewis Seiler
My rating: 2 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, 20th Century Fox)

Chan is on a secret case for a London bank tracking down fraudulent bonds. He is lead to a French cafe where the floor show features a violent dance, and an even more violent ending. The murders begin to stack up, and all clues point to a disguised blind man. Chan and and his elder son Lee barely escape becoming victims themselves in the sewers of Paris. Fun, but lesser Chan, which barely exploits the Paris setting.

Tarzan's Greatest Adventure (1959)

Directed by John Guillermin
My rating: 2.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Warner Archive Collection)

Penultimate Gordon Scott-era Tarzan is probably his best. He speaks slowly but much more intelligently and there is no Jane or Boy nonsense. Cheeta is still around, but not given much to do. It's a simple story involving the "bad guys", a group of 4 bickering diamond hunters, versus Tarzan and a woman companion he picks up along the way. The other unseen antagonist is the jungle itself, rife with dangers. The infighting amongst the greedy diamond hunters takes care of most of them, leading to a showdown between a wounded Tarzan and the leader of the diamond gang on a cliff. The two women characters were annoying and perhaps unnecessary, and there was an obvious rubber alligator for Tarzan to wrestle, otherwise an entertaining entry in the long-running series.

Wuthering Heights (1970)

Directed by Robert Fuest
My rating: 2 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, MGM)

Poor old Heathcliff, first he is adopted like a stray dog from the streets of Liverpool by his father, a married man living in the middle of some foggy British moors with his wife and kids. His new brothers and sisters despise him, except for his half-sister Cathy, and they form some kind of lifelong bond. Cathy is shipped off to become a lady, but Heathcliff lives like a wild animal in the stables. Eventually he runs away, and upon his return a few years later not only is he educated but a lady killer as well. All the girls fall in love with him, but the only one he cares about is Cathy. Emotional turmoil follows, but inevitably they end up together in the implausible ending.

Black Belt Jones (1974)

Directed by Robert Clouse
My rating: 2 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Warner Bros)

It's undeniably entertaining and steeped in 70s nostalgia, but resorts to kung fu action cliche in a long and boring second half. Jim Kelly gives a poor Bruce Lee imitation, right down to those funny noises that Lee makes. The flick started out strongly, actually had me interested in the plight of the karate school, and was funny at the right times. However, the action becomes more and more implausible until it was almost like watching a cartoon and I stopped caring. In particular, a long car chase that ends up in a car wash and some fighting among the suds was just plain silly. The soundtrack by Dennis Coffy is for the most part good, though some early disco starts to creep in to the mix.

College Swing (1938)

Directed by Raoul Walsh
My rating: 2 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Universal)

Another variety show masquerading as a film with a plot. The late 30s college atmosphere is kind of fun to see, it was at the height of popularity for swing, and the energetic dancing and songs are a highlight. On the other hand, you've got to endure physical comedy by the Slate Brothers stolen directly from the Three Stooges, Gracie Allen's squeaky voice, Martha Raye's mouth and Bob Hope's nose.