Altered States (1980)

Warner Bros.
Directed by Ken Russell
My rating: 3.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Blu-ray, Warner Bros.)

Scientist William Hurt's experiments in a sensory deprivation tank cause him to physically de-evolve when he combines them with psychedelic mushrooms. One night he turns into an ape-human and goes on a rampage. In another session, he regresses even further, becoming a screaming mass of primordial goo. His poor wife Blair Brown and fellow scientists try to save him. It raises questions of philosophy, religion and the origin of life itself, similar in many respects to 2001, but differs in the resolution by trying to answer those questions, whereas 2001 did not. Nonetheless, it's an auditory and visual assault on the senses, and a film experience with few peers.

Godzilla (1998)

TriStar Pictures
Directed by Roland Emmerich
My rating: 1.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Blu-ray, Sony)

Bloated Roland Emmerich nonsense is a rehash of every monster and sci fi movie that came before it. Godzilla makes his way from French Polynesia, where he has mutated from a lizard due to French atomic bomb testing, to New York City, where he/she nests in Madison Square Garden. Matthew Broderick is miscast as  a scientist who is never wrong, Maria Pitillo is his lightweight girlfriend with aspirations to be a news reporter and Jean Reno leads a French military unit who wants to make amends by killing the creature. There is one ending just shy of two hours that probably would have worked, but then it goes on for another 30 minutes with a ludicrous chase across the city in a taxi cab. The escape from Godzilla's mouth has to be on the most jaw-droppingly dumb scenes ever in an action film. Michael Lerner as "Mayor Ebert" and his sidekick are an obvious nod to critics Roger Ebert and Gene Siskel, apparently in revenge for their negative reviews of previous Emmerich movies.

Too Hot to Handle (1977)

New World Pictures
Directed by Don Schain
My rating: BOMB
IMDb
(DVD, Shout Factory)

Cheri Caffaro's last film, directed by her husband, is a typical Philippine action flick. Cheri knocks off various bad guys around Manila in grisly ways, getting paid by an unnamed source, while the hapless police pursue her. She falls in love with one of the cops despite his suspicions that she is the killer. Marred by a barbaric cockfighting scene, in slow motion to make it even worse, spliced with Cheri moaning in a bikini.

Shutter Island (2010)

Paramount Pictures
Directed by Martin Scorsese
My rating: 2.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Blu-ray, Paramount)

This is one of those movies where a character has a dream, wakes up, but it turns out he is still dreaming, wakes up, and so on. This gives the director free license and almost anything can happen, since it's all just a dream anyway. So, Leo is a police marshal who walks into an insane asylum with a new buddy cop. They are supposedly after a recently escaped patient. However, it turns out Leo has got a more personal connection to the island. The dreams start, there is a hurricane and then, wait for it... the huge plot revelation. If you've seen The Sixth Sense this will seem eerily familiar. It's good for one viewing, but afterwards I felt very, very manipulated, just like after The Sixth Sense.

Six of a Kind (1934)

Paramount Pictures
Directed by Leo McCarey
My rating: 2.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Universal)

Charlie Ruggles and Mary Boland take a cross-country driving trip for their second honeymoon, but paying passengers George Burns and Gracie Allen try to ruin it with their zany sense of humor. For example, at the Grand Canyon, Gracie causes Boland to fall off the edge and end up on a tree branch, oblivious to the danger. Later, they end up in a western town where W.C. Fields is sheriff. His pool routine is the funniest bit in the film, and Fields would do a similar one in his next film, You're Telling Me!, only funnier and with a golf club instead of a pool cue.

TNT Jackson (1974)

New World Pictures
Directed by Cirio H. Santiago
My rating: 1.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Shout Factory)

Jeannie Bell is a girl in Hong Kong searching for a missing brother, the trail leading to drug dealers. Stan Shaw is the muscle behind the dealers who decides to take over the operation himself. Pat Anderson is a cop whose cover is blown by Bell, threatening to undo her undercover sting operation. Strictly by-the-numbers plot, routine karate actioner by the prolific Santiago (79 directorial credits and counting).

The Inglorious Bastards (1978)

Capitol International
Directed by Enzo G. Castellari
My rating: 2 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Blu-ray, Severin)

A group of American prisoners, thieves, murderers and assorted odd balls, escape and head for the Swiss border. Bo Svenson is a disgraced officer and their leader. They have a series of encounters with Germans as they make their way through the French countryside. They accidentally kill an American special unit disguised as Germans but assume their identities. The French resistance movement help them sabotage a German rocket on a train for the finale. Episodic plot that walks a fine line between camp comedy and action, with poor special effects to boot.

The Old Fashioned Way (1934)

Paramount Pictures
Directed by William Beaudine
My rating: 2.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Universal)

W.C. Fields is an egotistical blowhard who owns a failing traveling theater troupe. Flat broke, he is constantly looking for a free ride: stealing train tickets, running out on hotel bills, etc. Arriving in a small town for their latest performance, he is up to his usual tricks. Meanwhile, his daughter falls in love with a wealthy singer, who turns out to be the only person with any talent. The plot comes to a screeching halt with a  performance of their play, "The Drunkard", which is purposely terrible, but still goes on far too long. However, Fields treats us to an amazing juggling act after the play is over. It throws a new light on his entire act: physical comedy which he makes looks effortless but actually requires substantial timing and coordination.

Firecracker (1981)

New World Pictures
Directed by Cirio H. Santiago
My rating: 1.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Shout Factory)

Beautiful blond Jillian Kesner arrives in the Philippines to find her missing sister. The trail leads to a martial arts arena where there are fights to the death. It is owned and operated by a drug dealer and his thugs. She falls in love with one of them, and they have one of the most ridiculous sex scenes ever filmed. Later, they end up in the arena of death where she pokes his eyes out.

Diva (1981)

United Artists Classics
Directed by Jean-Jacques Beineix
My rating: 3 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Lionsgate)

Obsessed opera fan Frederic Andrei secretly tapes a concert of his favorite diva. On his way home, a woman being chased hides a different tape on his moped. It turns out to have incriminating evidence about a corrupt police officer. Andrei is hunted down by the police, thugs hired by the corrupt officer and some people who want his bootleg opera recording. He gets help from a friend who lives in a huge studio loft where he practices zen and puts together a jigsaw puzzle while his Asian girlfriend roller skates around the room. It's an interesting mix of hypnotic camera work, idiosyncratic character study and straight-ahead crime drama. Wilhelmenia Fernandez threatens to ruin it with her amateurish performance and terrible French, though her singing is just fine.