Moon (2009)

Directed by Duncan Jones
My rating: 2.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Starz)

This film labors under the shadow of two similar and towering masterpieces of the genre: Kubrick's 2001 and Tarkovsky's Solaris. Moon never approaches the level of either of those films, but does at least work in some new themes. Sam is living alone on the moon, running a mining operation for a mega corporation back on Earth. His only companion is a robot, Gertie, dangerously close to Kubrick's Hal, and poorly voiced by Kevin Spacey. When his 3 year contract is about to expire, he has an accident on the moon surface and is left for dead. Back on the base, he is nursed back to health by Gertie, but also discovers a clone of himself now living there as well. Sam and his clone initially don't like each other, but eventually work together to uncover the mystery of their existence. There are some good ideas floating around, but it tends to get bogged down in an unnecessarily graphic depiction of Sam's deteriorating physical condition and some silly moments between him and the clone.

District 9 (2009)

Directed by Neill Blomkamp
My rating: 1.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Starz)

It's nothing more than a B-movie dressed up with CGI and shot in a pseudo-documentary style. The excessive shaky-cam is annoying, unnecessary and inconsistently utilized. On the one hand we get fake news reports where the shaky-cam is supposed to be mimicking live TV. At other times the camera goes places where it would be unlikely if not impossible for a hand-held camera to go, such as in the alien shacks or private moments between a husband and wife...and yet these are also shot shaky-cam style. It frequently stoops to gross-out gags, undercutting any serious pretense. It's got a cute little alien with big eyes that is supposed to illicit sympathy. It borrows heavily from numerous films, including: ET, Close Encounters, The Fly, Laserblast, Transformers and Star Wars. The Big Action Climax goes on for far too long. Certainly one of the more overrated flicks of recent years.

The Sweet Creek County War (1979)

Directed by J. Frank James
My rating: BOMB
IMDb
(VHS, Paragon)

Poorly paced western about an outlaw and a judge becoming friends and holding up in a cabin against some locals. I can't really say why the locals wanted them dead, something about homesteaders and some rich rancher wanting their land. At one point they stop shooting at each other to have a meal together, but afterward act as if nothing had happened. It's simply one of the most boring films I've ever seen. The atrocious quality of the Paragon video didn't help.

Star Spangled Rhythm (1942)

Directed by George Marshall
My rating: 2.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Universal)

An energetic Betty Hutton convinces security guard Victor Moore to pretend to be president of Paramount Pictures to impress her sailor boyfriend. It is a treat to wander around the Paramount lot and sound stages of the time. Numerous Paramount stars make cameos. However, a variety act at the end of the film tends to get a bit silly and overly patriotic, but this was a wartime picture.

Eran Trece (1931)

Directed by David Howard
My rating: 2 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, 20th Century Fox)

Charlie Chan in Spanish is not much different than other mystery films of the time. An American turns up dead in London during a trip around the world. A Scotland Yard detective has a ready-made set of suspects in the other members of the touring party. When they get to Honolulu, Charlie Chan steps in to uncover the killer when the original detective is wounded.

Clash by Night (1952)

Directed by Fritz Lang
My rating: 3.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Warner Bros)

Superb performances by the three leads, steady direction from Lang and an original play by Clifford Odets result in a powerful, adult story. Stanwyck is the newly widowed drifter who shows up at her brother's working class home one day. Paul Douglas is the gentle giant who falls in love with her despite their obvious differences. Robert Ryan is the friend Stanwyck tries but fails to resist. The setting is a California fishing town inhabited by Italian immigrants. I wasn't sure until the very last scene how this was going to be resolved. A raw, emotional experience that threatens to erupt in violence at every turn.

Where the Bullets Fly (1966)

Directed by John Gilling
My rating: 2 stars out of 4
IMDb
(VHS, Magnetic Video Corporation)

Spoof of James Bond and the secret agent genre has some good moments, but it's very British and very sixties. Tom Adams is Agent Vine, who seduces every woman he meets and has an arsenal of gadgets with which to fight the enemy. The story revolves around a fictitious metal called spurium, a necessary ingredient for nuclear power. Vine is kidnapped and put in a chamber where the floor and walls are electrified. In another scene, he chases someone down the sewers of London by filling it with laughing gas and following the laughter. There are numerous shoot outs and explosions, mostly in or around airplanes, since much of the action involves the Royal Air Force.

200 Motels (1971)

Directed by Tony Palmer and Frank Zappa
My rating: 1.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(MGMHD)

Dated curio from Frank Zappa and the Mothers of Invention plays more like a music video than a movie. A series of sketches are interspersed with live music performances. The actors are amateurs, after all they are musicians not actors, and it shows. Practically every scene is shot with some kind of ancient video effect, further dating the proceedings. Zappa himself has no speaking parts, but is occasionally glimpsed in the background and seems to be enjoying things.

She (1965)

Directed by Robert Day
My rating: 2 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Warner Archive Collection)

A trio of archeologists led by Peter Cushing is given a mysterious map at a cafe in Palestine. After one of them is kidnapped and seduced by Ursula Andress, they decide to follow the map to a lost city. They trek across a desert and find a primitive tribe in some mountains. The film comes to a crawl in the lost city, with lots of talk about love and immortality. Some of the tribesmen are thrown into a fiery hole. Ursula and her reincarnated boyfriend walk into a blue flame, he becomes immortal but she turns old and withers away. Despite the sets and the cast it's never as good as you want it to be.

Luna (1979)

Directed by Bernardo Bertolucci
My rating: 2.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Fox Movie Channel)

Opera diva Jill Clayburgh and her son Matthew Barry struggle to deal with the death of her husband. They move to Italy where she takes on various opera roles. The themes of Verdi are echoed in the film itself, particularly the incestuous longings that she develops for her son. The film bogs down big time with the drug addiction of Barry. We witness him shooting up with heroin then feeling up with mom. In one unintentionally hilarious scene he licks dirt off her face like a dog. The narrative simply has nowhere to go for long, long stretches. Mother and son end up in the Italian countryside for eons, apparently in search of his real father, who shows up towards the end of the movie. Bertolucci's technical mastery is apparent with meticulous tracking shots and wonderful sets, but the script dwells too much on the exploitative elements of the mother-son relationship.

The Riders of the Purple Sage (1941)

Directed by James Tinling
My rating: BOMB
IMDb
(Fox Movie Channel)

Low budget remake of the Zane Grey classic is a disaster. George Montgomery arrives at the ranch of Mary Howard in search of the killer of his sister. He tangles with a group of cattle rustlers and a corrupt judge. Way too much screen time is given to child actor Patsy Patterson, a poor man's Shirley Temple and very annoying. The ending is abrupt and made no sense.

Surrogates (2009)

Directed by Jonathan Mostow
My rating: 2 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Starz)

This film is overflowing with good ideas, mostly unrealized. In a futuristic world real people stay indoors and live out their lives connected by computers to their "surrogates", lifelike robots, through which they can see, hear and apparently feel everything. The robots, all young and beautiful, are practically indestructible. Their operators are portrayed as old, without make up, wearing robes or pajamas. Enter Bruce Willis, an FBI operative who "goes to work" each day by lying down in his "stem chair" and connecting to his surrogate. Somebody has found a way to not only destroy surrogates, but kill their operators as well. The film goes all wrong by turning into a futuristic NCIS, with Willis and partner digging through files and enlarging photos for clues. It's really hurt by the action sequences, as robots climb walls and jump from roof to roof of moving cars using impossible physics. Stupid, stupid, stupid. It's also bathed in that modern teal and orange palette and overexposure that is the hallmark of almost every new film that desperately wants to be "edgy". Little do the filmmakers realize it does exactly the opposite.

The Wheeler Dealers (1963)

Directed by Arthur Hiller
My rating: 2.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Turner Classic Movies)

Garner and Remick make a good couple in this occasionally funny look at Wall Street. Garner is the rich Texan who goes to New York to find financing for his oil wells. Remick is the only woman at an investment firm who is given an ultimatum by her boss to sell worthless stocks or be fired. The film's theme of female empowerment is undermined by the arrival of Garner, who essentially takes over Remick's job with a series of fabrications to drive up the value of the stock. At some points it becomes dangerously close to a dated romantic comedy. However, there are enough funny moments with its numerous familiar character actors to make it more than worthwhile. I particularly liked John Astin as a prosecuting attorney.

Oklahoma Territory (1960)

Directed by Edward L. Cahn
My rating: 2 stars out of 4
IMDb
(MGMHD)

Dry courtroom drama with a western setting. Bill Williams is a DA who prosecutes an Indian friend of his for murder. The evidence is overwhelming and the Indian is sentenced to hang. After the fact, the DA begins to wonder if his friend has been framed and digs deeper. He more or less forces a new trial at gunpoint. It seemed to me he should have done things the other way around. Anyway, there are a couple of routine shootouts and a brief attempt at a lynch mob, but mostly it's talk, talk, talk in the courtroom.

The Iron Glove (1954)

Directed by William Castle
My rating: 1.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Turner Classic Movies)

Cheap Sam Katzman costumer with Robert Stack as an Irishman fighting for King James. He tangles with the French who use beautiful Ursula Thiess to get to the king. Of course they fall in love, but it's never believable. In fact, little is in this poorly acted drama. I found myself marveling at Stack's pathetic attempt at an Irish accent, which comes and goes from scene to scene. The fight scenes are inept, with Stack's swordsmanship particularly suspect. I never saw an "iron glove", just an allegorical reference near the beginning.

Bwana Devil (1952)

Directed by Arch Oboler
My rating: BOMB
IMDb
(Turner Classic Movies)

Terrible movie whose only notoriety is being the first commercial 3D film of the 1950s. The title sequence may be the best part, with lettering painted on glass for added depth and African rhythms for mood. The rest is a tired story of lions terrorizing an African village where a train line is being laid. Robert Stack sleepwalks through another performance, with occasional hallucinatory outbursts that make no sense. I didn't watch it in 3D, but the effects are cheap and obvious, mostly stock footage with some branches in the foreground for depth. Whoa. The lion attacks combine footage of real lions with people wrestling with stuffed ones.

Calling Bulldog Drummond (1951)

Directed by Victor Saville
My rating: 3 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Turner Classic Movies)

First-rate British mystery film with plenty of action. Walter Pidgeon may be a little old for the part, but he pulls it off nicely. He is paired with pretty Scotland Yard inspector Margaret Leighton to go undercover to catch a gang of thieves. The two must assume new identities, which leads to complications since Drummond is well-known around town. When their cover is blown it takes some fast thinking to get out of a jam.

Conquest of Cochise (1953)

Directed by William Castle
My rating: 1.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Turner Classic Movies)

Handsome Technicolor production done in by juvenile script and poor acting. The US Cavalry is sent to Arizona after the Gadsden Purchase to protect Americans and Mexicans from the Indians. Robert Stack is embarrassing as the Cavalry leader who wastes no opportunity to seduce a woman. John Hodiak is slightly better as the Indian leader Cochise, although he has his share of women as well. The Mexican characters are little more than stereotypes. The ending is abrupt and baffling.

Girls on the Loose (1958)

Directed by Paul Henreid
My rating: 1.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Turner Classic Movies)

Novelty item of an all-girl gang who rob a bank then slowly self-destruct. Mara Corday is the gang leader and owner of a local nightclub. She is also a sadistic murderer who will stop at nothing to protect her interests. Her little sister is an unwitting participant in the robbery and is one of the worst cabaret singers I've ever heard. Poorly filmed, horribly acted, only for die hard fans of 50s melodrama.

Return of the Bad Men (1948)

Directed by Ray Enright
My rating: 2.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Encore)

Randolph Scott becomes a marshal during the Oklahoma land rush, and faces an all-star gathering of bad guys. Robert Ryan as the Sundance Kid stands out as a sadistic, mean-spirited murderer. A little too much time is spent on Scott's love life, with a young and lovely Anne Jeffreys as an outlaw turned straight and the prim and proper Jacqueline White both vying for his affection. Gabby Hayes is miscast as a banker, but does don the more familiar cowboy outfit towards the end. An atmospheric shoot-out in a ghost town and cobwebbed saloon is well-done, but it takes a long time to get there.

Swamp Water (1941)

Directed by Jean Renoir
My rating: 2.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Fox Movie Channel)

Dana Andrews befriends fugitive Walter Brennan while looking for his dog in the Okefenokee swamp. Brennan is wanted for a murder he didn't commit, and Andrews vows to prove his innocence. Back home, Andrews fights with his girlfriend but falls in love with the wild daughter of Brennan. The local hicks shun him because he hunts in the forbidden swamp. Some moody scenes early on, and Brennan is well cast as the swamp man, but it bogs down in the middle while in hick town. And speaking of bogs, this features one of the more disturbing deaths by sinking in quicksand on film.

The Spanish Main (1945)

Directed by Frank Bozarge
My rating: 2.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Turner Classic Movies)

Saturday matinee swashbuckler tries to mix in a little too much romance with the swordplay. Henreid is the buccaneer terrorizing the Caribbean Sea. He clashes with a pompous Spanish governor who was promised O'Hara as a trophy wife. Henreid has claimed O'Hara for himself after seizing her ship. O'Hara is the feisty aristocrat who initially resists Henreid but eventually falls in love with him. Barton MacLane is fun as Capt. Black, and a little more of him and less of O'Hara would have made the film better.

Five Guns to Tombstone (1960)

Directed by Edward L. Cahn
My rating: 1.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Encore)

Strictly by-the-numbers western with wooden acting from master of the B's Edward L. Cahn. There is the good brother gone straight and the bad brother tempting him back to the life of crime. Thrown into the mix is the teenage son of the bad man who can't decide on which side of the law he wants to fall. Good brother hatches a plot to capture bad brother and his gang, who rob a Wells Fargo stage. It all ends with a shootout among some rocks on a back lot. Wake me when it's over.

The Only Game in Town (1970)

Directed by George Stevens
My rating: 3 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Fox Movie Channel)

Beatty and Taylor are well matched as hard luck lovers in dreary Vegas. He works for tips at a piano bar while she is a showgirl. She strolls into his bar by chance one night and takes him home. He talks his way into her bed and a romance slowly blossoms against each of their wishes. She's in love with a married man who won't leave his wife. He's got a gambling problem. Just when they get comfortable with each other those skeletons in the closet come back to haunt them. It's based on a play and takes place mostly in Liz's tiny apartment, resulting in a stagy, claustrophobic production. It's also about a half hour too long. Despite all of this, the insightful script and acting make it more than worth while, with an excellent final scene.

Me and My Gal (1932)

Directed by Raoul Walsh
My rating: 3 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Fox Movie Channel)

Tracy and Bennett are good as wisecracking couple who fall in love in NYC. Tracy plays a beat cop, a role it seems he would play many times, and meets Bennett at the local clam chowder restaurant where she is a waitress. The snappy dialogue between the two of them is priceless as she resists his advances to no avail. Meanwhile, her sister gets married but is hounded by an old gangster boyfriend, whom she hides in the attic. The film is populated with numerous memorable characters: the drunk who comes and goes the whole picture, the father who communicates by Morse Code with his eyes and the tug boat captain who eats like a seal and talks to the audience out of frame. A fun, smart pre-code picture.

Two Seconds (1932)

Directed by Mervyn LeRoy
My rating: 2.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Turner Classic Movies)

Edward G. Robinson is sent to the electric chair. He relives his life during the two seconds it takes him to die. He is a dimwit manual laborer who is a construction worker on skyscrapers in NYC. He becomes involved with a dance hall girl who takes advantage of his naivety. As a result, he accidentally kills his roommate during an argument on a skyscraper in a memorable scene. He gets tricked into marrying the girl while drunk. She takes up with her dance hall manager. Robinson is driven to drinking, madness and murder. His final outbursts, one during his trial and another at his sentencing, are completely over-the-top.

White Witch Doctor (1953)

Directed by Henry Hathaway
My rating: 2 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Fox Movie Channel)

Even the star power of Mitchum and Hayward can't escape the fact that this jungle adventure begins with an escaped man-in-a-gorilla-suit and it is obvious neither ever set foot in Africa. The over reliance on stock footage and back projection are serious problems. Still, it's an entertaining if predictable Saturday matinee escapist story with Hayward the sympathetic doctor and Mitchum the he-man gold explorer.

Synecdoche, New York (2008)

Directed by Charlie Kaufman
My rating: BOMB
IMDb
(Starz)

The first and hour and a half of this depressing movie shows Philip Seymour Hoffman experiencing the most agonizing middle age crisis ever put on film. His body is falling apart and we witness graphic details of his bowel habits, skin rashes and gum problems. At one point he has a ridiculously over-acted seizure in which he manages to call 911 and yell "I'm sick, I'm sick!". He is married to a selfish, tattooed artist who is having a lesbian affair. His young daughter is precocious and annoying. After they abandon him and move to Berlin, he gets a boat load of money to produce a play. He falls in love with the "box office girl", another annoying, quirky character in a film full of quirky characters, but she rejects him when he starts crying during sex. He remarries a much younger, totally incompatible woman instead, leading to more misery. However, it is revealed that everything we have seen is a play populated by characters from the movie whose roles are interchangeable, acting out events in their real life, or maybe the other way around. It's a confusing, unnecessary and pretentious gimmick, and when paired with its relentlessly downbeat, depressing content, you end up with one of the most unwatchable films in years.

A Time to Sing (1968)

Directed by Arthur Dreifuss
My rating: 1.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Turner Classic Movies)

Hank Williams Jr stars in this saccharine-coated, juvenile movie about a farm boy who becomes a country music star. The main problem is that while Williams may be able to sing, he can't act. In that respect this resembles an Elvis movie in many ways. You've even got Shelley Fabares as the love interest, the costar of many Elvis movies. The depiction of southern life is very stereotyped and completely unrealistic. Hank sings many, many songs, which is great if you are a fan, not so much if you don't like his crooning drawl.

Saskatchewan (1954)

Directed by Raoul Walsh
My rating: 1.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Encore)

Great location shooting in Canada is the highlight of this Technicolor western from Universal International. However, leads Alan Ladd and Shelley Winters lack charisma, with Winters giving an especially poor performance. The special effects for a couple of big explosions are nothing more than an overlay of some fireworks...terribly done. Overall it's quite a disappointment from the normally reliable Raoul Walsh.

The Scarlet Pimpernel (1934)

Directed by Harold Young
My rating: 2 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Turner Classic Movies)

Leslie Howard is the English gentlemen who dons a variety of disguises to rescue French aristocracy doomed for the guillotine. The lovely Merle Oberon is his wife, who does not know about his secret identity but suspects something is wrong in their marriage. The movie starts off well with an atmospheric recreation of French executions. However, there is a long, long middle that takes place in England at a ball that brings the movie to a crawl and induces sleep in the viewer. The action picks up again towards the end in France, if you can make it that far.

Red Sun (1971)

Directed by Terence Young
My rating: 2 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Encore)

Japanese samurai films often resemble the Hollywood western, only instead of guns they use swords. This film does nothing more than make that connection obvious by bringing together two legends from each genre. Mifune is the "fish out of water" in the old west. He is part of a diplomatic mission traveling cross country by train when it is robbed by Alain Delon and his henchmen, including partner Bronson. Delon steals a Japanese sword intended as a gift for the president and kills one of its guards. Mifune vows to get the sword back and take revenge for the death, and ends up an unwilling partner with Bronson who is left for dead. They trade a few quips back and forth on their trek across the wilderness, but neither man is exactly known for his eloquence. They pick up Ursula Andress along the way to be bait for Delon. Some Comanches are thrown in the mix, but it lacks narrative focus and is often episodic. It's really a wasted opportunity in what should have been a much more interesting film.

Lucky Lady (1975)

Directed by Stanley Donen
My rating: 3 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Fox Movie Channel)

Stanley Donen's tribute to alcohol runners in the 30s is one of the more atmospheric recreations of the era on film. It's shot in that ultra 70s hazy fog that makes everything seem like a dream. The power trio of leads has a blast with the material. Liza gets to sing in a Mexican cabaret and sleep with Burt and Gene (at the same time), Burt gets to be silly and Gene also works on his comedy chops. Making loads of cash running booze from Mexico to California, they live the high life. Liza convinces them to do it full time and build their own boat. Violence mars their plans and leads to a screwball battle between a flotilla of runners and the thugs trying to take over the market.

The Spikes Gang (1974)

Directed by Richard Fleischer
My rating: 2 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Encore Westerns)

The first half seems like a Disney film, as a trio of young boys, including Ron Howard, run away from home in the wild west. They have no plans, no money and no destination, their stated mission: "one thing we won't never do is kiss no man's boots! Let's go get lucky!". They get odd jobs to buy food, but soon become dissatisfied with life as "saddle tramps". They decide to rob a bank, having idolized Lee Marvin who they had nursed back to health earlier. It doesn't go as planned and they kill someone, so go on the lam to Mexico. Still broke, they get thrown in jail for stealing, but lucky for them old Lee shows up and bails them out. Lee takes them under his wing, dresses them up as outlaws and teaches them how to really rob a bank. Their innocence turns to horror when violence erupts, and the Disney comparisons vanish as the blood begins to flow. A pale derivative of Bonnie and Clyde and The Wild Bunch.

Teen-Age Crime Wave (1955)

Directed by Fred F. Sears
My rating: 1.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Turner Classic Movies)

Preachy JD melodrama about the dangers of hanging out with the wrong friends. Sweet and innocent Jane goes on a blind date, only to end up on the lam with a couple of teenage killers. They hide out in a farm house and take an older couple hostage. Way too much time is spent listening to the old man read the Bible, the teens bickering with one another, nicotine withdrawal and general boredom waiting for something to happen. The final scene tries to steal a little something from Hitchcock with a fight in a revolving observatory dome, but fails miserably.

Justine (1969)

Directed by George Cukor
My rating: 2 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Fox Movie Channel)

Set in Alexandria at the time of the British withdrawal from Egypt, it's a meandering story of the few remaining British upper crust and their embrace of decadence. Anouk Aimee is Justine, married to Robert Forster, who for unclear reasons allows her to sleep around with any man she chooses. She starts up with poet and schoolteacher Michael York, who is also sleeping with beautiful belly dancer Anna Karina. Meanwhile their friend and British diplomat Dirk Bogarde is having a sexual relationship with his sister and may or may not be gay. Much of the 'action' takes place in a cafe featuring belly dancers in drag. It all looks great, but ultimately it's nothing more than a postcard of the sleazy side of Egypt.

The Narrow Margin (1952)

Directed by Richard Fleischer
My rating: 3 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Warner)

Classic noir featuring Charles McGraw as a cop escorting a witness cross country on a train. He's not a particularly happy cop, either, with his partner just murdered on the way to the train station, a witness he's sworn to protect but who stands for everything he is against, and at least two assassins trying to kill them both. A couple of startling plot twists along the way make for one of the more entertaining 71 minutes you'll ever spend with a movie. I could have done without the annoying little kid, however.

Fixed Bayonets! (1951)

Directed by Samuel Fuller
My rating: 3 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, 20th Century Fox)

A small platoon is assigned to be the rear guard of a retreating US Army in Korea. They must convince the much larger pursuing Koreans that they are more than just a handful of men. It's the dead of winter and they must fight cold and snow as well. Rather than concentrate on large-scale action, writer-director Fuller chooses to focus on the individual men and their experiences in this hopeless situation. We get to know each man by face if not by name, so when something happens we feel it deeply. Occasionally Fuller resorts to internal thought-narration, such as the Corporal who has a fear of responsibility. So when the ranking officers are killed and he takes over command, we have the same trepidations. The low budget does blunt the impact: it's a static film on an obvious studio set and tanks are blown-up in poor miniature work. It easily overcomes these limitations and is another excellent part of the Fuller oeuvre.

Cash on Demand (1961)

Directed by Quentin Lawrence
My rating: 3 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Sony)

Compact Hammer thriller shows its stage origins by taking place on one set and nearly in real time, but still an entertaining heist film with a Christmas theme. Andre Morell is the gentlemanly robber who talks his way into Peter Cushing's bank office posing as an insurance man doing a security check. He threatens Cushing's wife and children unless he does exactly as asked. Morell has things planned to the minute, and soon is in the bank vault stuffing his luggage with cash. Cushing, a cold manager not liked by his employees, finds himself relying on their help to get out of the situation. This one would be perfect on a cold Christmas Eve as part of a double feature with Dickens' Christmas Carol.

Shotgun Stories (2007)

Directed by Jeff Nichols
My rating: 2 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Liberation Entertainment)

Quirky indie drama that is, well, a little too quirky. It's essentially an examination of the "Southern culture of honor" in a white trash, Arkansas setting. You've got the brooding, quiet older brother who scowls, a lot. His quirky younger brother lives in a van down by the river, literally. The other quirky brother lives in a tent in the back yard. They show up at their father's funeral and spit on the casket, in retribution for the father abandoning the family. The step-family at the funeral is of course offended, setting off the vicious circle of tit for tat. Some other quirky characters come and go, such as "Shampoo" who provides vital information to flame the fires of hatred between the two camps. Everyone greets each other by saying "hey", friend or foe. Irritating.

J.D.'s Revenge (1976)

Directed by Arthur Marks
My rating: 2 stars out of 4
IMDB
(DVD, MGM)

Glynn Turman, the guy from Cooley High, is living in New Orleans with his girlfriend when he becomes possessed by a gangster from the past bent on getting revenge for the murder of his sister and himself some 30 years ago. Hokey set up is actually done well, thanks to excellent location shooting in the Big Easy and a good performance by Turman. He gets to wear an old zoot suit and a coiffed hairdo when the gangster persona takes over. However, the film is cheapened by exploitative elements of graphic rape scenes and recurring images from a slaughterhouse.

Stop Me Before I Kill! (1960)

Directed by Val Guest
My rating: 2.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Sony)

A dreadful first hour features a recently married couple on vacation in France as the husband tries to recover from a head injury sustained in an automobile accident. They bicker endlessly, fight after fight, only to reconcile for a while then fight again. They are staying in a 5-star hotel, which they have mostly to themselves, until a friendly older neighbor shows up. It just so happens that he is a psychiatrist and he begins treating the husband, while making advances towards the wife. When they abruptly decide to return to London, the doctor follows, and the film takes a dramatic turn towards the better. Suddenly there is tension as the husband's homicidal urges intensify. There is the complex psychological angle as the husband tries desperately to remember the accident that is the source of his mental illness. You sense the doctor may not be quite sincere, but the film brilliantly hides the truth from both the husband and the audience. Even at the end, we are not sure what is real and what is illusion in the cat and mouse game between doctor and patient. A second viewing may be required to figure out why that first hour seemed so bad...

Fear Strikes Out (1957)

Directed by Robert Mulligan
My rating: 2.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Paramount)

Anthony Perkins is professional baseball player Jimmy Piersall. It starts with his childhood as the son of factory worker Karl Malden, who relentlessly pushes Jimmy at baseball. It is only briefly mentioned, but his mother apparently spent some time in an "institution". In high school, Jimmy is the star player and the team state champs, but still his father pushes him. He gets signed on with the Boston Red Sox and goes to the minor leagues, but old dad is there to criticize every mistake. He finally makes it to the major league, but during one game has a mental breakdown and starts climbing the fence in front of dad. He goes away for awhile, undergoes shock treatment and eventually emerges whole again. The acting is great, but what I really wanted to see was Perkins hitting his father right between the eyes with one of those baseballs.

The Sporting Club (1971)

Directed by Larry Peerce
My rating: 2 stars out of 4
IMDb
(VHS, Charter Entertainment)

Confused story about an elite hunting club in Michigan celebrating its centennial. On the one hand, it's a black comedy, centering around the deranged character of Vernur, who has an unhealthy obsession with guns combined with a hatred of society, including his girflriend, best friend and fellow club members. He is very unlikeable, not to mention juvenile, and brings the movie down. However, the film also tries to work in some anti-establishment symbolism, when a group of hippies and their older, pot smoking leader Jack Warden arrive next door for a party. Warden terrorizes the hunting club, who symbolize the older, patriotic generation that defines "wasp" (see movie poster), by blowing up their lodge with dynamite. It really doesn't work either way, mainly because of a clumsy, unfocused script and bad direction. It's full of overly familiar character actors.

My Favorite Blonde (1942)

Directed by Sidney Lanfield
My rating: 2.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Universal)

Good Hope vehicle in which he becomes involved with British spy Madeleine Carroll. Hope has a stand up act with a penguin, Percy (who, by the way, steals every scene in which he appears), and when Carroll is running away from German spies she chooses his dressing room in which to hide. They spend the rest of the movie on the run in a series of comedy misadventures. They ride a train, steal a plane, take a bus to a Chicago Teamsters picnic and eventually end up in LA. There are some memorable bits, like when Hope thinks he is losing his mind on the train, but it tends to become episodic and seems much longer than its relatively short running time. Nonetheless, Hope is in his prime, and I caught glimpses of his influence on every one from Don Knotts to Woody Allen.

Tarzan the Magnificent (1960)

Directed by Robert Day
My rating: 2.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Warner Archive Collection)

Gordon Scott's last appearance as Tarzan is an entertaining if unspectacular jungle adventure. The film benefits greatly from being filmed in Africa, yielding immediate authenticity. An evil father and his two sons are robbing and pillaging the jungle and nearby inhabitants. Tarzan captures one of them, but must escort him to a city to place him under arrest. The journey is across perilous country, full of the usual animals, swamps and quicksand. He takes along a group of people stranded when their boat is blown up, including a bickering married couple and a young blond beauty. The prisoner himself is the greatest threat, including a finale featuring a fight on rocks between Tarzan and, well, Tarzan, since Jock Mahoney would take over the role in the next film!

Bury Me Not on the Lone Prairie (1941)

Directed by Ray Taylor
My rating: 1.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, VCI Entertainment)

Despite having one of the best titles ever for a western, it's a standard programmer with B movie hero Johnny Mack Brown. In fact, his sidekick Fuzzy Knight gets more screen time than the marquee name. It's a familiar tale of gold prospectin' in California, with bad guys jumpin' claims and killin' folk on the way to file a deed. Fuzzy makes his own strike, but falls off his horse when shot at by the bad guys. He loses his memory and thinks he is in the Civil War. Ho hum. The title comes from "the most famous cowboy ballad" (so says Wikipedia), here performed around a campfire by Jimmy Wakely and his Rough Riders. Unfortunately Fuzzy also sings a nonsense song accompanied only by his "squeeze box".

A Day at the Beach (1970)

Directed by Simon Hesera
My rating: 2 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Code Red)

Mark Burns somehow convinces the mother of little Winnie to let him take her to the beach for a day of fun under a gray and rainy overcast. He wastes no opportunity to beg, steal or borrow alcohol the entire time. He's got quite a tolerance, so manages to stay somewhat sober while downing endless bottles of beer and gin. He meets up with an old friend, who spouts bad poetry and passes out, so he takes the opportunity to make out with his wife. Eventually the staggering amount of alcohol consumed catches up with him, and he begins to hallucinate, panic and fall unconscious. The end. A pointless, aimless film with a lead character who solicits no sympathy. Even an uncredited cameo by Peter Sellers as a flaming homosexual can't save it.

Mahogany (1975)

Directed by Berry Gordy
My rating: 2.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Paramount)

Engrossing drama revolving around Diana Ross and her ambitions as a fashion designer in the slums of Chicago. She falls in love with politician Billy Dee Williams, whose liberal views frequently puts them at odds. Anthony Perkins almost steals the movie as the fashion photographer who discovers her and offers a job in Europe. The turning point of the film occurs at a jump cut, an image of a dingy and gray Chicago street under the elevated train tracks cuts to a sunlit Rome. Here Ross gradually succumbs to the excesses of the Roman fashion scene. She further degrades herself by living off a rich Italian designer, who eventually demands she sleep with him. Meanwhile Perkins has become obsessed with her to the point of taking on traits of Norman Bates. I liked the first half, but the second half too frequently resorts to melodramatics.