In Love and War (1958)

Directed by Philip Dunne
My rating: 2 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Fox Movie Channel)

Most of the running time is spent in San Francisco with a group of Marines during the days leading up to their deployment to the Pacific in WWII. It plays like a trashy soap opera, each man's story revolving around a girl. You've got the Sergeant who marries his girl after she tells him she's pregnant, then there is the rich Marine with a girlfriend who drinks too much and plays around so he has a one night stand, and finally there is Robert Wagner who spends most of the time drunk and obnoxious. All of this is supposed to let us get to know the characters before the inevitable war scenes. They are not all that bad, and make good use of stock footage, they are just too brief and frequently cut to the much less interesting domestic scenes and girlfriends.

Ride, Vaquero! (1953)

Directed by John Farrow
My rating: 2 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Turner Classic Movies)

Robert Taylor and Anthony Quinn play opposite each other as well as opposite types, Taylor the calm, plain-spoken cowboy and Quinn the emotional, hot-headed bandit. It's the south Texas border country after the Civil War and Quinn is burning out the homesteaders for fear they will move in on his territory. Taylor takes up with the gringos and falls in love with Ava Gardner, though she is married to homesteader and all-around nice guy Howard Keel. Their romance is mostly unspoken but nonetheless fuels the action. It all leads to the expected shoot-out between Taylor and Quinn in a deserted bar.

Christopher Columbus (1949)

Directed by David MacDonald
My rating: 2.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Turner Classic Movies)

British Technicolor production follows Columbus from the courts of Spain to the islands of the Caribbean. In Spain, he must convince the Queen and a Royal Committee that the earth is round and that by sailing west he will actually end up east. The aristocrats are skeptical but Columbus has got the local clergy on his side who can't resist an opportunity to convert a new world of heathens and get some gold in the process. Columbus sails the ocean blue, overcoming a long voyage and mutinous crew. The islanders are friendly but naive, trading their gold for broken crockery. Greed gets the best of the Spaniards and Columbus is arrested and shipped back to Spain. Interesting if plodding account of the explorer that tends to play like one of those movies you are forced to watch for a school project. It doesn't help that the Technicolor on the TCM print is a brown, washed-out muck.

Alice in Wonderland (2010)

Directed by Tim Burton
My rating: 1.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Starz)

The familiar Alice in Wonderland story is Burtonized and Disneyfied via sterile computer graphics. The tired video game plot places Alice on a journey in which she must overcome a series of foes, leading to the Big Action Climax against the Jabberwocky, who speaks in a deep menacing voice. Johnny Depp is ridiculous as the Mad Hatter with cat eyes. His dance at the end is groan inducing and embarrassing. The soundtrack by Danny Elfman is as lifeless as it is pompous. See Jan Svankmajer's 1988 masterpiece Alice instead.

Tarzan's Three Challenges (1963)

Directed by Robert Day
My rating: 2 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Warner Archive Collection)

Jock Mahoney travels to Thailand to guide a boy through the jungle to assume his new role as holy leader. They face many trials along the way, pursued by a rival contender for the throne. The production utilizes many famous Buddhist shrines, including a cave full of golden statues. In fact, the film threatens to become a travelogue through Thailand at times. In the end, Tarzan must face one last test to save the boy, a showdown on a net suspended above urns of boiling water.

Never Take Candy from a Stranger (1960)

Directed by Cyril Frankel
My rating: 3 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Sony)

One of the better non-horror Hammer productions that handles the delicate subject of a mentally ill old man preying on two young girls. It takes place in a small Canadian town, and the film has as much to say about the closed-mindedness of a small town as it does pedophilia. The town's powerful family hires a scummy lawyer to defend its patriarch, leading to a trial that manipulates the audience's sentimentality quite effectively. He's let go after it proves too much for the little girl on the witness stand. However, before they can leave town the man has one more frightening encounter with the girls.

Tampico (1944)

Directed by Lothar Mendes
My rating: 2 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Fox Movie Channel)

Edward G. Robinson is the captain of a Gulf of Mexico oil tanker, dealing with German submarines and spies. He falls head over heels in love with Lynn Bari and marries her on a drunken night out. Soon after, his ship is torpedoed. Suspicion falls on his wife, but Robinson goes undercover to clear her name. A couple of big plot twists can be seen coming a mile away.

The Battle at Apache Pass (1952)

Directed by George Sherman
My rating: 2.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Encore)

Remote Cavalry outpost in New Mexico deals with the last of the remaining Indians. The Cavalry commander is friendly with Cochise and live peacefully. A government man from back East arrives to exploit the Indians and drive them to a reservation. He makes a secret deal with bad Indian Geronimo, who attacks a wagon train and breaks the treaty. The Cavalry suddenly finds itself fighting the formerly friendly Indians, both mislead by the deception. They must learn to trust each other again to stop the fighting. It's not a bad little Universal-International color production, sympathetic to Indians and Cavalry alike.

The Prowler (1951)

Directed by Joseph Losey
My rating: 2.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Turner Classic Movies)

Van Heflin solidifies his stereotype as an amoral and selfish cop who takes advantage of gullible housewife Evelyn Keyes. He uses his position of authority to start a romance with her while her husband, an overnight disc jockey, is away at work. Keyes ultimately falls in love but Heflin is strictly after her money. He's got an elaborate plan to murder the husband so he can marry the widow and gain the inheritance. It does not go as planned and the finale takes place in a remote desert ghost town. Keyes overacts and the plot is barely believable, but it is entertaining.

American Guerrilla in the Philippines (1950)

Directed by Fritz Lang
My rating: 2.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Fox Movie Channel)

This Fritz Lang tropical adventure story set on a remote Philippine island benefits from authentic locations but is really hurt by the amateur acting of some of the locals. In many ways this presages his Indian epic that would follow about 10 years later. Here, our hero is Tyrone Power, an American GI stranded by MacArthur with a rag tag group of soldiers. At first they don't do much of anything, but gradually start a resistance to the Japanese. The second half features several intriguing set pieces, a doomed radio station and a soldier dying from a bayonet wound for instance, but ultimately the film lacks a cohesive plot and is also hurt by unnecessary narration.

Le Silence de Lorna (2008)

Directed by Jean-Pierre and Luc Dardenne
My rating: 2 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Starz)

Lorna is an Albanian immigrant in Belgium who has entered a complex arrangement with a nasty taxi driver for monetary gain in not one but two sham marriages. The first is to a pathetic junkie which is to get her Belgian citizenship. They plan to murder him so she can remarry a rich Russian for a pile of money. The only problem is she starts to have feelings for the junkie, to the point of having sex with him. He gets murdered anyway, then she discovers she is pregnant while negotiating the second sham marriage. This is more or less an unpleasant soap opera populated with unpleasant people. I wish they could keep the camera still.

Home in Indiana (1944)

Directed by Henry Hathaway
My rating: 2.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Fox Movie Channel)

Harness racing in Indiana is the setting for this slice of rural Americana. Sparke (pronounced Sparky) is an orphan dumped on some cousins who own a dilapidated horse ranch. Walter Brennan knows horses but gets drunk and reminisces about the good old days. Sparke befriends a wealthy neighbor's horse and secretly studs it out to get his own filly. He trains it with the help of Brennan and his daughter Char to become a race horse. The teen romance between Sparke and Char is all "gee whiz" and "golly" and threatens to drag down the whole movie. The horse parts are just barely good enough to save it.

2012 (2009)

Directed by Roland Emmerich
My rating: 2 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Starz)

The end of the world is at hand: a massive solar flare has heated the earth's core "like a microwave" resulting in global earthquakes and tsunamis. John Cusack rescues his family in southern California in a series of increasingly improbable and silly adventures. They make it all the way to China where huge arks have been built to ride out the tsunamis. Yes, the dog lives.

Blood and Steel (1959)

Directed by Bernard L. Kowalski
My rating: 2 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Fox Movie Channel)

Routine story of a small group of Americans going to remote Pacific island and engaging Japanese combatants. One of the Americans is black and he is the first to go down. However, he exhibits the best survival and fighting skills of the group. The Japanese are generally dumb and careless and are easy prey for the Americans. There is one surprising kill towards the end. It's a brief and generally pointless film, though nicely lensed in widescreen by Floyd Crosby. Produced by schlockmeister Gene Corman.

Secret Ceremony (1968)

Directed by Joseph Losey
My rating: 2.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Turner Classic Movies)

Mia Farrow and Elizabeth Taylor are both dead, or are supposed to be, but are alive and well, or at least play-acting, in a large English mansion. Mia was 25 playing essentially a 9-year-old, with girlish dresses and a bob, reliving her tortured childhood at the hands of Liz. Dad shows up and turns out to be Robert Mitchum with a scraggly beard, who spouts off about incest and other improprieties, in one of his worst performances. Still, there is a certain appeal in all of this nonsense, some nice sets and camerawork by Gerald Fisher, that prevents it from becoming a complete disaster.

The Mudlark (1950)

Directed by Jean Negulesco
My rating: 3.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Fox Movie Channel)

Fine Dickensian tale of poor English waif who travels 20 miles by foot to Windsor castle to see his "mother", Queen Victoria. He sneaks into the castle, nibbles on some food, hides under the Queen's dining table then falls asleep. His snoring gives him away. He's mistaken for an Irish terrorist and imprisoned in the Tower of London. He manages to break into the private chambers once again and sets things straight with Victoria. Well acted by Irene Dunne as the Queen and Alec Guinness as the Prime Minister, who has a marvelous soliloquy in the House of Commons.

Daffy Duck's Quackbusters (1988)

Directed by Greg Ford, et al
My rating: 2.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Starz)

Another Warner compilation of classic Looney Tunes strung together with a new story and new animation. As usual the new stuff pales in comparison to the old, even "The Duxorcist" is poor. However, this does contain my all-time favorite Looney Tune "Transylvania 6-5000", a stylized gothic ghost story with Bugs Bunny.

Black Horse Canyon (1954)

Directed by Jesse Hibbs
My rating: 2 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Encore)

Everyone is after a black stallion named Outlaw and will go to great lengths to either get him or stop anyone else from doing so. Joel McCrea and young friend are the good guys, they only want to capture and break Outlaw for the rightful owner, pretty Mari Blanchard. The bad guys want Outlaw to stock their ranch, and will go as far as murder to get him. Mix in some rather strained romance and you've got the typical color western from Universal-International.

King of the Khyber Rifles (1953)

Directed by Henry King
My rating: 2 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Fox Movie Channel)

Lifeless account of India's resistance to British rule in the late 19th century. Tyrone Power is the half-caste captain facing racism in a remote British camp. Naturally he falls in love with the general's daughter which causes complications. His half-brother is the leader of the Indian forces, but is unable to kill him in cold blood. The British attack from the rear in a final hand-to-hand battle, which provides one of the few sparks in what should have been a much better film.

The Tuttles of Tahiti (1942)

Directed by Charles Vidor
My rating: 2 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Turner Classic Movies)

Charles Laughton and his brood of 20 or more children and extended relatives loaf around in Tahiti, depending on gambling and a friendly doctor to make ends meet. Apparently fish are plenty but they would prefer not to have to work for a living. Laughton is either incredibly stupid or incredibly naive to think this lifestyle can continue without tragedy. When it finally arrives and they lose everything, he simply starts the cycle all over again. I don't think it is an intentional critique of socialism or the American welfare system, but that's the only way I could tolerate the film.

This Happy Breed (1944)

Directed by David Lean
My rating: 3 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Turner Classic Movies)

David Lean's directorial debut spends 20 years with a typical middle class British family between the world wars. Frank and Ethel Gibbons have the usual problems with their young adult children. In particular is Queenie, a young woman who pines for a finer lifestyle. She runs away from home with a married man and breaks her mother's heart. Politics often intrude into their lives as well. An old war buddy lives next door and Frank often drinks and reminisces. They grew older, Queenie comes home, there are some unexpected deaths. It's all finely acted and occasionally moving, but episodic and very, very British.

Claudia (1943)

Directed by Edmund Goulding
My rating: 3 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Fox Movie Channel)

Excellent mix of screwball comedy and melodrama, with Dorothy McGuire stealing every scene. She is married to older Robert Young, living in the country and struggling to get by on the farm. Her naivety causes her to question his love for her and she does some rather stupid things. On the other hand it is her naivety that causes her to be so attractive. Robert Young goes with the flow but still has second thoughts. A visit from a Russian opera star is uproarious, as is the scene with the British gentleman. A serious tone threatens to overtake the last act, but it is handled with a grace that would make Frank Capra proud.

One (1998)

Directed by Tony Barbieri
My rating: 2.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Starz)

Low-key indie drama examining the lives to two young men at a crossroad. One has just been released from prison and is determined to put his life on track. The other is a promising baseball player but does not seem to care and has no motivation. They use each other in subtle ways, offering a place to live or a ride when needed, but seem determined to keep their friendship. A girl enters one of their lives, the lovely and talented Autumn Macintosh, further straining the relationship. The ending is ironic given the characters but predictable from the start. One question nags me: why didn't he just go to his parole officer when he started getting the threatening letters? It did not fit his character at all to ignore them.

Such a Long Journey (1998)

Directed by Sturla Gunnarsson
My rating: 2.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Starz)

Longish story of an Indian man who unwittingly gets caught up in a money laundering scheme. He thinks he is helping and old friend with the "revolution" but instead is being used for his position as a banker. There are numerous subplots, mostly boring family drama like a son who won't go to college and a daughter who catches malaria, and these melodramas really drag down the film. In the end, some unexpected deaths occur, neither of which make much impact, and father and son are reconciled. Nice use of Bombay locations.

Hearts of the West (1975)

Directed by Howard Zieff
My rating: 3 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Turner Classic Movies)

Wonderful atmospheric recreation of Hollywood in the 1930s, centered around an aspiring writer who ends up acting in westerns instead. Beau Bridges leaves his small Iowa town in search of fame and fortune out west. He is taken advantage of by unscrupulous con men in Nevada but accidentally escapes with their money across the desert. He stumbles upon a production company and befriends a group of cowboy actors including Andy Griffith. He fails as a writer in Hollywood so takes up acting. He quickly learns it's all about the money and is taken advantage of again. There are numerous excellent characterizations: Alan Arkin as the penny-pinching director, Donald Pleasance as the aloof and eccentric producer, Andy Griffith as a world-weary actor and Blythe Danner as a smart and pretty production assistant. Classic movie fans, especially western fans, will love every minute.

Terror on the Beach (1973)

Directed by Paul Wendkos
My rating: 2 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Fox Movie Channel)

Dennis Weaver repeats his role in Duel as the everyman persecuted by unseen forces, only this time he brings along his family to be tormented on an isolated beach by a cruel hippie "family". Weaver starts out meek and humble, not wanting to cause any trouble, but when pushed against a wall responds with violence. He argues a lot with his college-aged son but has something to prove. His wife is having a middle age crisis. His daughter, Susan Dey, is the smartest one of the bunch and looks great in her red bikini. The hippie family was obviously inspired by Manson but their motives are not clear other than to hassle what they perceive as the "man".

High Time (1960)

Directed by Blake Edwards
My rating: 1.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Fox Movie Channel)

Ole Blue Eyes is at the twilight of his career in this campus comedy. Bing plays a fish-out-of-water as the 51 year-old widower who goes to college. He moves into the freshman dorms, makes pals with his slightly eccentric roommates, joins a fraternity and romances the French professor. The film is never funny and seeing Bing in drag at this stage of his career is just sad. Even a cute Tuesday Weld can't perk things up. Fabian still can't act.

Until the Light Takes Us (2008)

Directed by Aaron Aites and Audrey Ewell
My rating: 2.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Sundance)

Leisurely paced documentary on the Norwegian black metal scene circa 1990. Most of the time is spent with a guy called "Fenriz", founding member of Darkthrone, who walks around Oslo, visits an art gallery in Stockholm and talks about the early days of the scene. The other main focus is Varg Vikernes who is interviewed while serving a 21 year sentence for murder. He's an intelligent guy and has some interesting viewpoints on Christianity. He gives some first hand accounts of the black metal "scene", particularly as a statement against popular music of the time, and has some harsh words for death metal. Varg tends to ramble and you get the feeling he is not telling the whole truth, then what is the truth in the "sea of lies" (to quote Varg). Anyway, it could have used a little more actual performances of the music being talked about, but I did learn a few things.

The Mad Magician (1954)

Directed by John Brahm
My rating: 2.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Turner Classic Movies)

Vincent Price works in a shop inventing and building tricks for other magicians. When he decides to go out on his own his employer closes the show and claims he owns the rights to his new "Buzz Saw and the Lady" contraption. It's not long before Price takes revenge using the very same buzz saw. He assumes the man's identity using clever make-up and a mask, but this leads to other problems. More murders follow and the police are hot on his trail. Good but not great Price, hurt by a 3D gimmick which occasionally throws things in our face.

A Quiet Place in the Country (1969)

Directed by Elio Petri
My rating: 3.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Turner Classic Movies)

Franco Nero is a successful artist in Milan. He creates abstract, impressionistic works and his girlfriend Vanessa Redgrave sells them for ridiculous prices. One day he gets tired of the city and wants to find a place in the country. He ends up buying a dilapidated mansion. He hears stories of a young girl who once lived there and was supposedly killed by the Nazis. He becomes obsessed with her and slowly goes insane. Intriguing but occasionally pretentious film beautifully shot by Luigi Kuveiller. A perceptive study of alienation in modern society, particularly the dehumanizing impact of pornography, refocused through the lens of an artist. The soundtrack by Ennio Morricone is appropriately modernistic and perhaps his best.

Noise (2007)

Directed by Matthew Saville
My rating: 3 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Sundance)

Brendan Cowell is an Australian policeman ("constable" in the vernacular) who is not particularly good at his job. He's got a persistent ringing in his ears which gets him a doctor's excuse and a cushy job manning a temporary police trailer. A serial murderer is loose and the police are desperately looking for him. The only witness to his rampage on a train is scared she will be next. Meanwhile back at the trailer a series of odd characters come and go, is one of them the murderer? I was afraid this wasn't going to go much of anywhere for most of the film. The Aussie accents were thick and the characters typical indie quirky. However, the ending is hands-down the best ending I've seen in quite some time, it really makes you think and puts the rest of the film in a new light.

Most Dangerous Man Alive (1961)

Directed by Allan Dwan
My rating: 1.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Sony Movie Channel)

Ron Randell is framed for murder, but on the way to death row escapes and ends up on a nuclear testing ground. The explosion turns him into a man of steel, literally! Bullets don't just bounce off him but are absorbed by his skin. He uses his new found indestructibility to get revenge on his gangster friends who framed him. The movie also displays an unusual degree of misogyny, every time you look a woman is being slapped around, beat up or used by a man. The ending features flamethrowers in poorly matched stock footage.

Beyond Mombasa (1956)

Directed by George Marshall
My rating: 2 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Sony Movie Channel)

Obnoxious drunk Cornel Wilde arrives in East Africa to work on his brother's mine. He soon finds out that his brother has been murdered by the "Leopard Men", a local cult. He finds his brother's old mining partner, girlfriend and investor, and together they trek across the jungle to the mine. More murders occur and one of their party is the murderer. Donna Reed dons multiple matching outfits and has perfect hair and makeup throughout the arduous journey. Location shooting in Africa helps.

Maya (1966)

Directed by John Berry
My rating: 2.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Turner Classic Movies)

Teen Jay North (a few years after his starring role in the TV series Dennis the Menace) travels to India to meet his long lost father. Instead, he finds a dilapidated house with wild animals roving the grounds. His father cruelly kills a newly adopted cheetah and the boy runs away. He befriends a local Indian boy whose father is dying. They set off on a quest to delivery a white elephant to a holy city, the dying man's last request. Along the way, they must fight off thieves and tigers, as well as learn to get along with each other, to fulfill the promise. Good location shooting helps this rather predictable and juvenile jungle adventure.

...tick... tick... tick... (1970)

Directed by Ralph Nelson
My rating: 3 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Turner Classic Movies)

Jim Brown and George Kennedy star in this dramatization of race relations in the South during the turbulent late 60s. Brown is the newly elected black sheriff and Kennedy the outgoing white one in a typical racist southern town. The whites hang out in their redneck country bar while the blacks hang out in their own, and they both hate each other. A road accident results in the death of a little girl and the arrest of the drunk white man who killed her. The good ole boys from the next county want to break him out of jail, but can the blacks and whites come together to stop them? The soundtrack is completely out of place and intrusive, but apparently the TCM print is not the original soundtrack. One film in desperate need of restoration and rediscovery.

The Norseman (1978)

Directed by Charles B. Pierce
My rating: 1.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(MGMHD)

It's Vikings vs Indians in this regional epic from Charles B. Pierce. The lead Viking is none other than Lee Majors, whose 70s coiffure and moustache are strangely out of place in the 11th Century. He speaks quietly yet poetically to his fellow black-haired Vikings. His young son looks more Norse with his blond hair, until he opens his mouth and has a strong southern drawl. An Indian girl, Mrs. Sonny Bono (not Cher, but there is a resemblance), decides to help them rescue their kidnapped king. It's all an excuse to see bows and arrows against swords and steel in slow motion.

Onionhead (1958)

Directed by Norman Taurog
My rating: 2.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Turner Classic Movies)

Pre-Mayberry Andy Griffith stars in this Coast Guard service comedy-drama. He gets assigned as an assistant cook aboard a small ship despite never having cooked in his life. He quickly learns and is popular with his shipmates, but not with the drunken head cook played wonderfully by Walter Matthau. Griffith is girl crazy, falling in love with the first girl he meets at the local watering hole on shore leave. Much of the film concerns the romantic complications of Griffith, the girl and Matthau. There is also some on-board ship drama involving an officer and a brief rescue mission. Griffith is more or less under control here, say compared to the wild man of A Face in the Crowd, but the story is strictly routine.