Adam's Woman (1970)

Warner Bros.
Directed by Philip Leacock
My rating: 2.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Warner Archive Collection)

Convicts in Australia are given a chance to win their freedom by becoming pioneers and taming the land. Beau Bridges takes up the offer and is given his pick of the convict women for a wife. He chooses bald, crazy Irish woman Jane Merrow. The odd couple set off together for the outback. Soon they are building a cabin and raising sheep. Others convict "families" follow. A gang tries to burn down the new town but they resist. Beau Bridges' character Adam is an unlikely leader of hardened convicts turned pioneers. He is immature and constantly gets in fights. His wife is much more the pioneer type: strong, committed, wise. He has none of those traits and so it is difficult to believe she would fall so much in love with him. Perhaps Bridges was miscast. Either way, since his character is central to the story, it tends to drag the whole thing down.

The Brass Bottle (1964)

Universal Pictures
Directed by Harry Keller
My rating: 2.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Universal Vault Collection)

Tony Randall is a flustered bachelor who buys an ancient Egyptian bottle for his fiance Barbara Eden. Inside the bottle is Genie Burl Ives who makes his life chaos. Sound familiar? Reverse the gender roles and you've got I Dream of Jeannie. It's colorful and entertaining fluff, if overly familiar for those of us who grew up on the TV series.

The Phenix City Story (1955)

Allied Artists
Directed by Phil Karlson
My rating: 2.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Warner Bros.)

Documentary-style potboiler of gambling and corruption in an Alabama town. John McIntire is a lawyer coaxed out of retirement when his son is beaten up by local mobsters. He loses a court case when the jury is threatened so decides to run for Attorney General of the state. He wins, but is soon murdered. His son takes over the cause. An unnecessary newsreel-style prologue is a series of interviews with the "man on the street" in Phenix City, but gives away the ending of the film. Some of the violence is directed towards children and is shocking even by today's standards.

No Survivors Please. (1964)

Directed by Hans Albin and Peter Berneis
My rating: BOMB
IMDb
(DVD, VCI Entertainment)

Aliens violently kill Ambassadors to the UN and take over their bodies. They become emotionless automatons and plot to end the world by starting a nuclear war. A nosy newspaperman starts to figure it out so he is killed as well. The only problem is he was in love with a girl and love is an emotion the aliens have problems suppressing in their new bodies. It's an amateur production badly dubbed and mostly interested in showing the violent deaths. There is the obligatory anti-nuclear message at the end.

The Black Cobra (1963)

Directed by Rudolf Zehetgruber
My rating: BOMB
IMDb
(DVD, VCI Entertainment)

Dreadful German film is a talky crime drama centered around an innocent truck driver wanted by the police for trafficking narcotics. The real drug dealers are after him as well: a gang of Sicilian thugs including "Goba", a hulking half-monster with one eyebrow. Then there is the mysterious Mr. Green, who sneaks around in a bow tie and bowler stabbing people with his walking stick. If that wasn't enough, Klaus Kinski is a strung-out junkie/pianist who will do anything to get his next fix. The truck driver has friends who try to help him, the most effective being Punkti, who owns the trucking company. Punkti is a big fella and he has a showdown with Goba in a sort of Greco-Roman wrestling match at a concrete factory. The denouement takes place at a junkyard where Mr. Green is crushed inside a car by one of those compacting machines. Some mention must be made of the English dubbed version, which is mind-bogglingly awful, as if done by MST3K but without the intentional humor. It's not the worst movie ever made, that distinction belongs to the unwatchable Boardinghouse, but would certainly make my Bottom 100.

The Losers (1970)

Fanfare Films
Directed by Jack Starrett
My rating: 2 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Blue Underground)

Hippie bikers from the Devil's Advocate gang are on a mission in 'Nam to rescue a political prisoner. They spend the first half of the film hanging out at the whorehouse/go-go bar, drinking and dancing to a Vietnamese band that sounds a lot like CCR. Some of them pair off with local girls, providing the film's only real moments of characterization. They spend some time customizing their dirt bikes with machine guns and armored plates. The big raid into Cambodia is a bit anticlimactic, since the man they are to rescue resists and gets them all killed. A final montage relives every violent death in the film with an out-of-tune ballad playing in the background.

Quiet Days in Clichy (1970)

Directed by Jens Jorgen Thorsen
My rating: 1.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Blue Underground)

If you are looking for "art porn", then you've found it. An American writer and his French pal pick up women in Paris cafes and have sex with them at their apartment. Country Joe McDonald sings songs with dirty lyrics. Text occasionally appears on screen, sort of like in the old Batman TV show. It's a rambling, pointless excuse to show naked bodies of worn-down women and hairy men. Only the backdrop of Paris in the late 60s gives it any redeeming value, even Ben Webster is wasted.

Then Came Bronson (1969)

MGM
Directed by William A. Graham
My rating: 2.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Warner Archive Collection)

It is tempting to write this off as an Easy Rider clone. Instead, I saw it as a tender love story between two people thrust together by coincidence. Michael Parks is the quiet young man who quits his job and hits the road on his cycle. He reluctantly picks up a nameless girl and they develop an uneasy friendship. Eventually she wants more, but his meditative state of mind won't allow him. They have a few minor adventures along the way. Some nice photography of the California countryside.

Murder Over New York (1940)

Twentieth Century-Fox
Directed by Harry Lachman
My rating: 2 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Fox)

Charlie Chan is in New York for a convention when his old friend from Scotland Yard is murdered. He takes over the case, which leads to a group of saboteurs targeting American bombers. Aiding in the investigation is a dumb New York City police detective and an over zealous Jimmy Chan. At one point they round up "every Hindu in New York City" for a line-up, one of whom is Shemp from the Three Stooges in heavy make-up. The denouement takes place on a flight of a test plane, but no one is murdered.

Venus in Furs (1969)

Directed by Jess Franco
My rating: 2 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Blue Underground)

Former teenage heartthrob James Darren is a jazz musician in Istanbul who finds a dead girl washed up on the beach. She starts showing up at his gigs alive, even when he runs to Rio. They start a love affair, much to the chagrin of his regular girl Barbara McNair. The lovely Maria Rohm has apparently risen from the dead to get revenge on the people who murdered her in a sexual tryst. So, one by one, she lures them into various deviant sexual situations and murders them. In the end, she leaves poor Jimmy alone to ponder both her and his own existence. At its best, a dreamy, hallucinatory bad trip set to cool jazz, at its worst soft porn set to Manfred Mann. Franco frequently goes to his usual stable of effects: zoom, extreme close-ups and slow motion, which are as tiresome as they are predictable.

Cornered (1945)

RKO Radio Pictures
Directed by Edward Dmytryk
My rating: 3.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Warner Bros.)

Dick Powell is perfectly cast as a Canadian flyer in search of the man who killed his French wife at the end of WWII. His investigation leads him across Europe and eventually Argentina. War criminals are masquerading in Buenos Aires high society, which he infiltrates at one of their parties. His reckless methods put him at odds with a better organized investigation by a mysterious group of men. Nonetheless, he manages to smoke out the killer in a grungy waterfront bar. The well-paced script, layers of intrigue but especially the knockout performance by Powell make this one of the better post-war dramas of the period.

The Girl from San Lorenzo (1950)

United Artists
Directed by Derwin Abrahams
My rating: 1.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, VCI Entertainment)

Cisco and Pancho go after outlaws dressed as themselves who are holding up stages. They befriend a pretty girl and work it out so that she gets the reward money offered for their own arrest, while still getting the right ones. Lame comedy relief from Pancho who intentionally speaks broken English.

Castle Keep (1969)

Columbia Pictures
Directed by Sydney Pollack
My rating: 2.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Sony)

Burt Lancaster leads a rag-tag group of men to a castle in Belgium where they prepare to make a last stand against the Germans. The men have plenty of time on their hands, and they spend most of it at the whorehouse in town. Some of them slowly go insane, falling in love with a Volkswagen, pretending to be a baker and living a normal life while bombs constantly fall or giving art lectures in the castle. This part of the film goes on far too long and is virtually plotless. However, when the Germans finally do arrive at the castle things pick up considerably. In particular, a scene in the rose garden is very well done and almost makes up for everything else...but it takes an awfully long time to get there.

South of the Rio Grande (1945)

Monogram Pictures
Directed by Lambert Hillyer
My rating: 1.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, VCI Entertainment)

Cisco goes undercover to catch a corrupt government official and his gang who are murdering and stealing from the locals. He spends most of his time flirting with pretty singer Lillian Molieri. There are plenty of stops along the way for songs.

The Trail Beyond (1934)

Lone Star Pictures
Directed by Robert N. Bradbury
My rating: 2 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Columbia TriStar)

The Duke heads to Canada in search of the lost daughter of an old friend. Instead, he finds a map to an abandoned gold mine, gets framed for murder, chased by Mounties, dives over a cliff on his horse and saves a wounded Mountie from going over a waterfall in his canoe. The serial-inspired action is fun, even if the plot doesn't always make sense.

Charlie Chan at the Wax Museum (1940)

Twentieth Century-Fox
Directed by Lynn Shores
My rating: 2 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Fox)

Atmospheric setting in a wax museum dedicated to legendary crimes livens up a sometimes confusing plot. The wax figures provide ample opportunity for real people to be mistaken for dummies, including one for Chan himself. Identities are further blurred by face transplants performed by the mad doctor who owns the museum, which means any one of the suspects could be someone different than their appearance. Unfortunately all of this subterfuge and identity switching only confuses the viewer, but not Charlie Chan.

The Desert Trail (1935)

Lone Star Pictures
Directed by Lewis D. Collins
My rating: 1.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Columbia TriStar)

Wayne and pal Kansas Charlie play up the comedy a bit more than usual in this Lone Star B. I think maybe they watched a few too many Laurel and Hardy shorts. Anyway, they get framed for murder and robbery, go on the lam and eventually clear themselves. As usual, the Duke makes a proposal to the girl for the ending.

Riders of Destiny (1933)

Lone Star Pictures
Directed by Robert N. Bradbury
My rating: 1.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Columbia TriStar)

John Wayne is Singin' Sandy Saunders, the meanest gunslinger since Billy the Kid. He sings morbid ballads while ridin' the plains or shootin' it out in the city. He saves a girl from some bandits and befriends her, her father and the whole town. A water baron has them literally dying of thirst when he shuts down the water supply. Don't worry, ole' Singin' Sandy is really a good guy and will save the day. Fuzzy St. John and Gabby Hayes have supporting roles, but I don't recall any scenes with them together. The Columbia TriStar release in the "Riding the Range" collection is marred by a modern synth soundtrack, although the picture looks great.

Desperate (1947)

RKO Radio Pictures
Directed by Anthony Mann
My rating: 3 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Warner Bros.)

Innocent truck driver Steve Brodie gets dragged into heist and subsequent shoot out with the police by a gang led by heavy Raymond Burr. Burr's brother is captured and sent to the electric chair and he wants to get revenge on Brodie at all costs. He pursues Brodie and his young wife from their apartment in the city to a relative's farm in the country. Unable to shake them, Brodie eventually confides in the police who help him lay a trap. One memorable scene has Brodie and Burr in a stare down as a clock ticks to midnight, Burr planning to shoot him at the same time his brother is electrocuted. It doesn't work out as planned.

Two-Fisted Law (1932)

Columbia Pictures
Directed by D. Ross Lederman
My rating: 1.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Columbia TriStar)

Cowboys wearing big hats argue, fight and kill each other over land and gold. Tim McCoy is the innocent cowboy forced to give up his ranch to the local land baron. On top of that, he is accused of robbery and murder. He's got a secret gold mine that buys him time, which he uses to save the ranch of his girl. John Wayne has a bit part as a cowhand.

The Magnificent Seven Ride! (1972)

United Artists
Directed by George McCowan
My rating: 1.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, MGM)

Lee Van Cleef is now sheriff of an Arizona town. His new wife begs him to release a young prisoner against his better judgement. He concedes, and the same day the kid robs a bank and kidnaps his wife. He eventually finds her dead in the desert. Driven by revenge, he finds and kills the gang responsible, but acquires a debt that requires him to deal with a large band of Mexican bandits terrorizing another town. He hastily assembles the "old gang", all of them in prison, and hunkers down for the Big Finale. It's a manufactured Hollywood sequel, shot on obvious back lots, lacking any kind of style or characterization, even Elmer Bernstein's score is hopelessly derivative.

Minnesota Clay (1964)

Harlequin-International Pictures
Directed by Sergio Corbucci
My rating: 2.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, VCI Entertainment)

Cameron Mitchell escapes from a dreary Federal work camp. He heads for the town where his dead wife is buried. He soon finds out he has a daughter there as well, but doesn't tell her. "Terror Town", as it's called, is overrun by outlaws lead by a corrupt sheriff. Mitchell and the sheriff are old buddies, and the sheriff has information that can clear him of crimes. He gets kidnapped by a filthy gang of Mexicans who also have it out for the sheriff. He gets beat up, goes blind and almost hanged, but a Mexican girl saves him. It's all a set up for the Big Shootout finale where a blind Mitchell faces off against the outlaws and the sheriff.

Thunder in Dixie (1964)

Directed by William T. Naud
My rating: 1.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Something Weird Video)

Talky racing drama about old friends who can't forget an incident in the past. Mickey and Ticker are both drunks and addicted to racing. Mickey accidentally killed Ticker's wife in an accident some time ago, and vows to get revenge on the racetrack. His new girlfriend, the lovely Nancy Berg, tries to talk him out of it, but she drinks a little too much herself. Mickey is having problems with his wife. The inevitable race eventually arrives but it is anticlimactic.

The Speed Lovers (1968)

Directed by William F. McGaha
My rating: 1.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Something Weird Video)

William F. McGaha wrote, directed and stars in this vanity piece. There is no car he can't fix, no drink he can't drink (especially Stingers) and no woman he can't seduce. A rich gangster pays him off with women and cash to convince real life driver Fred Lorenzen to join his racing team. He hangs out at the pool with an international array of bikini clad women. The Brave Falcon is a popular bar where he drinks more Stingers and dances to a twangy band dressed in paisley shirts. When he can't convince Lorenzen to join him, he escapes from a group of sunglasses-wearing thugs in suits by stealing their yellow Mustang convertible. He arrives just in the nick of time at the Big Race to jump in the pits and make an adjustment on Lorenzo's engine that wins the race.

Man in the Saddle (1951)

Columbia Pictures
Directed by Andre De Toth
My rating: 2 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Sony)

Randolph Scott is more like the man in the middle in this western melodrama. He's in love with red-headed Joan Leslie, but she marries a wealthy rancher for his money even though she is still in love with Scott. The rancher sends a hired gunman and various cowboys to try to shoot Scott. He's wounded in one fight and nursed back to health by a lovely blonde neighbor. They are attracted to each other but don't do anything about it. Eventually Scott gets in a shoot out with the rancher on a windy day, with both girls caught in the middle.

The Great Train Robbery (1979)

United Artists
Directed by Michael Crichton
My rating: 2.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, MGM)

Michael Crichton, better known for his stories based on science, wrote and directed this train heist caper. Sean Connery is a gentleman in Victorian England. He hobnobs with other gentleman to learn the secrets of their weekly train shipments of gold. This begins a series of vignettes in which Connery and accomplices must obtain 4 keys. Once that is accomplished, the train robbery proper begins. It doesn't quite go as planned. It has a wonderful period feel and beautiful cinematography of the Irish countryside. However, the plot tends to be formulaic and Connery is a bit smug in his role.

Sins of Jezebel (1953)

Lippert Pictures
Directed by Reginald Le Borg
My rating: BOMB
IMDb
(DVD, VCI Entertainment)

Biblical costumer about an Israeli king who marries the pagan Jezebel. She convinces him to build a temple to her god, Baal, which causes internal strife among the people of Israel. One day when they are praying for rain, Baal fails to deliver, but the prophet Elijah succeeds. John Hoyt plays both Elijah and the lecturer who provides narration for the wraparound segments. Paulette Goddard is too old for the part of Jezebel. More appropriate for Sunday school than entertainment, even Three Stooges replacement Joe Besser fails to liven it up.

Thank God It's Friday (1978)

Columbia Pictures
Directed by Robert Klane
My rating: 1.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Sony)

It's probably best to take the advice of the radio DJ near the beginning of the movie and "let your mind go and boogie". Otherwise, you will be bored to tears by the mundane plot and shallow characters. It's nothing more than one night at a disco: a couple of underage teens (including Terri Nunn from Berlin) try to sneak in so they can participate in the dance contest, a square couple learn to let it all hang out by popping pills and flirting with the slimy owner, Donna Summer is an amateur singer trying to get her demo to the DJ, The Commodores lip synch on the disco floor, and on and on.... mostly though, you've got to just soak up all of that 70's disco atmosphere and shake your head in amazement.

Queen of the Amazons (1947)

Screen Guild Productions
Directed by Edward Finney
My rating: 1.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, VCI Entertainment)

Jungle safari nonsense padded with gratuitous stock footage of animals and dancing natives. In fact, the actors spend much of their time "interacting" with the inserted footage. Anyway, a safari to Africa in search of a woman's missing fiance ultimately leads to a tribe of white women, survivors of a shipwreck, where the fiance is doing just fine, thank you very much.

Decoy (1946)

Monogram Pictures
Directed by Jack Bernhard
My rating: 2 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Warner Bros.)

Confusing story told in flashback of a gangster and his hidden loot and the people around him who will stop at nothing to get it. He's executed in the gas chamber, but a corrupt doctor brings him back from the dead. There are double and triple crosses, at least two femme fatales and a cop named Portugal who is not very good at his job. It's never credible, and plays more like a melodrama with horror overtones than noir.

The Black Stallion (1979)

United Artists
Directed by Carroll Ballard
My rating: 3 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, MGM)

Story of a boy and his wild Arabian horse is wonderfully photographed by Caleb Deschanel. The film can be neatly divided into two halves: the ocean liner and subsequent shipwreck in which boy and horse get to know each other, then the days back home where boy trains horse for racing with mentor Mickey Rooney. The first half is the most engaging, containing sparse dialogue and memorable imagery. I was a bit worried that the horse was being mistreated during the shipwreck, it was a little too realistic at times. The second half becomes a more predictable horse racing drama, but it does contain some fine period flavor. Rooney is relatively subdued in his role as the old trainer tempted out of retirement by the prospect of an undiscovered winner.

Last of the Mobile Hot-shots (1970)

Warner Bros.
Directed by Sidney Lumet
My rating: 2 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Warner Archive Collection)

Trashy Tennessee Williams-based drama about a dying man who marries a floozie on a game show then takes her home to his decaying southern mansion. He's got a half-brother who is after the inheritance if he dies, which he tries to circumvent with the marriage. The brother is also half-black, which ignites racial tensions, and lusts after the girl, which ignites sexual tensions. Meanwhile the river is raging on the other side of the levee and it is constantly raining. Lynn Redgrave is actually quite good as Myrtle, she nails the accent and brings her character to life. On the other hand, James Coburn and Robert Hooks seem miscast, their characters are never believable and their exaggerated acting more fit for the stage. The resolution would be right at home in an Irwin Allen disaster film.

Kotch (1971)

MGM
Directed by Jack Lemmon
My rating: 3 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, MGM)

Ornery old man Walter Matthau is ignored by just about every one around him. He talks incessantly and in a slightly condescending tone. Well, eventually he befriends the family babysitter when she becomes pregnant. He follows her to other cities, even a remote log cabin, and delivers her baby in the restroom of a gas station. It tries to be a comedy, but the comedy is rather forced. It lacks an emotional punch because all of the characters talk over each other instead of to each other. This is not addressed until the final scene, which appropriately enough is the reading of a letter instead of direct communication. It's good, but leaves one feeling oddly disconnected, much like the people of the film.

Tarzan and the Jungle Boy (1968)

Paramount
Directed by Robert Gordon
My rating: 2 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Warner Archive Collection)

A dispute over leadership of the native Tzegunda tribe is the heart of this Tarzan story. Two brothers must compete in a series of Olympic-style events, the winner becoming the new leader. The "good" brother wins but the "bad" brother brings him to the jungle to be killed. Instead, he is saved by the "jungle boy", mop-headed Steve Bond, who takes him to his caves. Meanwhile, a photographer hires Tarzan to lead her into the jungle to find the boy, missing for six years. Padded with stock footage of animals and ridiculous Cheetah antics, but worst of all Tarzan is nothing more than a supporting character.

The Windsplitter (1971)

Directed by J. D. Fiegelson
My rating: 1.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, VCI Entertainment)

Independently released Easy Rider clone has Jim McMullan returning to his childhood home in Texas after becoming a movie star in Hollywood. In the interim he's taken up riding a chopper and wearing his hair long. He's quickly branded a hippie by the local mayor, sheriff, dad, well, just about everybody. They shoot his dog one night in an ugly, drawn-out scene. He's still in love with his old girlfriend, who happens to be the daughter of the preacher, which sets up the inevitable confrontation. The VCI release is in what I call "faux widescreen", taking a full frame print and "squishing" it to look widescreen then putting mattes on the top and bottom. The process distorts the image and makes everyone look short and fat.

Crime Wave (1954)

Warner Bros.
Directed by Andre De Toth
My rating: 3.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Warner Bros.)

Realistic crime drama shot in a documentary-like style. Gene Nelson is an ex-con trying to go straight in LA. One of his old pals from the state pen shows up one night after a hold up at a gas station goes wrong. After he dies in the living room, things start to really unravel. The police suspect him of taking part in the robbery. The other thugs show up and force him to take part in their next heist. Superb supporting performances from a bevy of character actors, including Charles Bronson and Tim Carey as nihilistic henchmen, and Phyllis Kirk as the innocent wife caught up in it all.

Son of Paleface (1952)

Paramount
Directed by Frank Tashlin
My rating: 2.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(HD-DVD, BCI Eclipse)

Bob gets a big studio budget and Technicolor in this silly western spoof. He plays a recently graduated Harvard man who goes west to claim his father's inheritance. It's a fish-out-of-water tale as he deals with real cowboy Roy Rogers and saloon-girl-by-day, bandit-by-night Jane Russell. It stops for plenty of songs by all of the cast. The action is frenetic, the director obviously inspired by Looney Tune cartoons of the day, as it frequently defies normal laws of physics. Despite all it has going for it, it commits one cardinal sin: it's simply not funny. Silly, yes, entertaining, yes, but funny, no. It doesn't help that Bob is basically a stuck-up, girl-crazy heel, even Roy doesn't like him and that is obvious in their scenes together.

My Favorite Brunette (1947)

Paramount
Directed by Elliott Nugent
My rating: 2.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(HD-DVD, BCI Eclipse)

Bob Hope spoofs the detective genre in this occasionally funny flick. He's a baby photographer with a studio next to the office of a noirish Sam McCloud. Mistaken for the real detective, he takes up the case of pretty Dorothy Lamour. This leads to a series of set pieces, such as a creepy mansion and a sanitarium, where Bob gets to zing his patented one-liners. I thought the funniest scene was at the sanitarium, where Bob plays a couple of holes of golf with a partner who as an invisible ball. There are some interesting cameos as well, the best saved for last.

En Carne Viva (1951)

Directed by Alberto Gout
My rating: 2 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, VCI Entertainment)

Mexican soap opera livened up by cabaret songs from Rosa Carmina, especially in the early scenes at the Veracruz cafe. However, as the film goes along the plot gets more and more preposterous. Eventually we reach a point where Rosa is dead (suicide over a cliff), but miraculously comes back to life as her lookalike daughter. But wait! The daughter is in love with a man who turns out to be her step brother. But wait! There is one more ridiculous plot twist as she is about to throw herself off a cliff, again...

The Big Steal (1949)

RKO Radio Pictures
Directed by Don Siegel
My rating: 2.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Warner Bros.)

Robert Mitchum chases Patric Knowles, while William Bendix chases Robert Mitchum. It all takes place in hot and dusty Mexico. Mitchum picks up Knowles' girl Jane Greer along the way. At first they trade barbs with each other, which is fairly entertaining, then they fall in love, which is not so. While the authentic Mexican locations certainly add flavor, the frequent use of back projection and fast-motion, especially during car chases, does not. So it's a mixed bag, certainly not without it's merits but ultimately a 70-minute time-waster.

Confessions of a Police Captain (1971)

Avco Embassy Pictures
Directed by Damiano Damiani
My rating: 2 stars out of 4
IMDb
(VHS, Avco Embassy)

Government corruption in Sicily is the theme of this Italian-made police drama. Franco Nero is the idealistic young district attorney. He clashes with the cynical police chief Martin Balsam, who after years of dealing with corruption takes matters into his own hands. They are both after the leader of the local mafia. Their investigation leads to high ranking legal and political figures. It's mostly talk punctuated by occasional violence, and frequently bogs down in lengthy flashbacks.

The Third Day (1965)

Warner Bros.
Directed by Jack Smight
My rating: 2.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Warner Archive Collection)

George Peppard is involved in an accident and has amnesia. He stumbles around trying to figure out his old life. It turns out he is a wealthy playboy suspected of murder. He bickers with his wife, although the new George is a lot nicer than the old George. There is a long, boring middle section about the company he owns and an attempt to sell it. It picks up a bit at the end, but still is a poor imitation of Hitchcock. Instead of Bernard Herrmann we get Percy Faith for the soundtrack. Arte Johnson and Sally Kellerman are more interesting than the leads.

Breaker! Breaker! (1977)

MGM
Directed by Don Hulette
My rating: 2 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, MGM)

An uneasy mixture of the CB radio craze, westerns and martial arts, that somehow works due to the presence of Chuck Norris. His brother drives a rig into Texas City, an abandoned western set substituting for a California town. Its inhabitants are stereotypical southern goons, preying on unsuspecting motorists. Chuck arrives to find his brother who has been kidnapped. His karate skills easily overcome any attempts to stop him by the locals. He has a fight with a deputy in slow motion. In the finale, 18-wheelers destroy the town. Helped immensely by the cinematography of Mario DiLeo and a moody soundtrack that incorporates country tunes sung by the director as well as some moody electronics for the brief martial arts scenes.

Illegal (1955)

Warner Bros.
Directed by Lewis Allen
My rating: 2.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Warner Bros.)

Edward G. Robinson is a hot shot District Attorney who convicts an innocent man and sends him to the electric chair. Racked by guilt, he ends up in the gutter. His cynicism leads him to become a defense lawyer for the mob. When he is forced to convict his old secretary friend he refuses and must deal with the consequences. Robinson's character is not particularly likable, especially when he resorts to theatrics to win his cases, and the plot tends to be episodic. Nonetheless, it's an acceptable courtroom drama with a touch of gangster action.

Road to Bali (1952)

Paramount
Directed by Hal Walker
My rating: 1.5 stars out of 5
IMDb
(HD-DVD, BCI Eclipse)

Juvenile comedy from a couple of middle aged comedy legends. Bing and Bob stumble around various exotic Paramount sets with Dorothy Lamour. The jokes are never funny and are marginally offensive. In particular, their skirt chasing antics have misogynistic tendencies. Dorothy is purely an object of lust, and when Bob loses her to Bing he just conjures up Jane Russell as a replacement, as if Dorothy never existed. Among other eye-rolling attempts at comedy are a talking volcano, a chimp wearing a mask of Bob's face, a female gorilla that falls in love with Bing... you get the idea. They frequently break the fourth wall and talk directly to the audience. It's just plain embarrassing.