Ride to Hangman's Tree (1967)

Universal Pictures
Directed by Alan Rafkin
My rating: 1.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Encore)

A trio of unlikeable outlaws rob a bank and get caught, but on their way to be hanged escape. Within minutes, they are robbing a stagecoach. They break up the gang only to rob each other. Years later, the "Black Bandit" is terrorizing California during the gold rush, one of the old outlaws. It just so happens the other two show up in the same town. They get jobs with Wells Fargo, only to make plans to rob it. Mostly, they fight each other over pretty saloon singer Melodie Johnson, who is really the only reason to watch this cliche-ridden western.

The Exile (1947)

Universal-International
Directed by Max Opuls
My rating: 2.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Turner Classic Movies)

Douglas Fairbanks, Jr, is the exiled king of England living incognito in Holland. He falls in love with a flower girl at a market and goes to work for her at her farm. He is found out by the dreaded "roundheads" from England, lead by the always menacing Henry Daniell. They have an exciting chase and duel involving windmills that would make Hitchcock proud. However, far too much of the film is concerned with the romance between Fairbanks and his women, including an appearance by Maria Montez as a royal French flame from his past.

The Happening (1967)

Columbia Pictures
Directed by Elliot Silverstein
My rating: 2.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Sony Movie Channel)

Bored teenagers in Miami wake up after an all-night party looking for "kicks". They stumble on Anthony Quinn in his mansion and decide to kidnap him. Quinn telephones all of the important people in his life asking for money but they turn him down. Dismayed, he turns the tables on the kidnappers and helps them extort even more money from his "friends". A good idea that is not fully developed, the film is content to play for laughs which are not really there instead of exploring the more serious themes it raises.

Safari Drums (1953)

Allied Artists
Directed by Ford Beebe
My rating: 1.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Turner Classic Movies)

Sheffield was starting to outgrow his character by this point, the 9th Bomba movie since 1949. Here he is credited as "John" Sheffield instead of the usual "Johnny", a subtle acknowledgment of that very fact. This time around, a Hollywood crew is in Africa to get film of animals in action. Bomba reluctantly agrees to help after hearing that one of them is a murderer and the police are on the way to make an arrest. Unfortunately that leaves plenty of time to kill a few animals for the sake of entertainment. I'm not sure the producers of the real film realized that the plot condemns the very film they are making!

The Lone Wolf in London (1947)

Columbia Pictures
Directed by Leslie Goodwins
My rating: 2 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Turner Classic Movies)

Gerald Mohr settles into the Lanyard role with old pro Eric Blore as his gentleman's gentleman Jamison. Lanyard gets involved with stolen diamonds while researching a book. The complicated plot involves a wealthy British collector, his daughter and her fiance as well as a pretty actress.

Texas Terror (1935)

Lone Star Pictures
Directed by Robert N. Bradbury
My rating: 1.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Encore)

John Wayne is a sheriff who finds a friend murdered by thieves. Blamed for his death, he quits and lives in a log cabin in the woods. The friend's pretty daughter shows up and wind up working as her ranch foreman. However, me must prove his innocence to win her love. Less action than most of the other Lone Star westerns with Wayne.

Letter from an Unknown Woman (1948)

Universal-International
Directed by Max Opuls
My rating: 2.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(VHS, Republic)
(Turner Classic Movies)

Joan Fontaine develops a teenage crush on her neighbor Louis Jourdan, a concert pianist. Despite all indications that he is a nothing more than a ladies man, she allows him to seduce her one night. They get separated, she has the baby, and their lives go on apart. Ten years later, they meet again at an opera. She is married but throws it all away despite the fact that he doesn't even recognize her, and then walks away without telling him the truth. She and her son die of typhoid, the pianist left alone. Melodrama is still melodrama, no matter how well directed.

Gunplay (1951)

RKO Radio Pictures
Directed by Lesley Selander
My rating: 1.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Encore)

Tim Holt and girl-crazy sidekick Chito are hired hands who get involved with murder in a dusty Arizona town. The local banker and hotel owner has a shady past that he will do anything to hide. A cute kid with zero acting ability drags the movie down to juvenile level.

The Huggetts Abroad (1949)

Gainsborough Pictures
Directed by Ken Annakin
My rating: 2 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Turner Classic Movies)

When Dad gets fired at his job the family decided to go to South Africa, by land! The buy an old truck and head off to Algeria. Unbeknownst to them, the passenger they took along to help pay expenses is smuggling stolen diamonds. When he gets wounded in a bad deal, they have to get him to a doctor in the middle of the desert. Absurd situational comedy that features young Petula Clark strumming ditties on her guitar and Dad wishing for an English pub in the middle of a sand storm.

Operator 13 (1934)

MGM
Directed by Richard Boleslawski
My rating: 2.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Warner Archive Collection)

Marion Davies is a northern spy sent south during the Civil War. She dons black face and speaks in a ridiculous southern accent to pass herself off as a servant. Remarkably, no one doubts her identity, even the real southern slaves. She meets Gary Cooper, an officer in the Confederacy, and they have a mostly unspoken attraction for each other. Davies returns to the north and years pass. Near the end of the war, she is sent south on another mission and meets Cooper again, this time as a southern lady. The romance tends to dominate over the more interesting war drama, especially in the second half, but the film is undeniably entertaining despite its shortcomings, of which there are many.

Kipps (1941)

Twentieth-Century Fox
Directed by Carol Reed
My rating: 2 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Fox Movie Channel)

Dickensian tale of young boy who leaves his peasant home to become an apprentice in a fabric shop. Years go by and he becomes bored with his position. He also falls in love with the teacher at his after hours "self help" school. One day he inherits a fortune and they become engaged. While he has trouble adapting to his new-found status, she has none using his money to advance hers. Meanwhile his childhood sweetheart reappears and she leads him down the path to true happiness. The main problem with the film is the character Kipps, a rather shallow and not too bright fellow that his hard to care about. A minor effort from the future great director Reed.

The Stand at Apache River (1953)

Universal-International Pictures
Directed by Lee Sholem
My rating: 2.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Encore)

Stand-off between group of men and women at a remote stage depot and renegade Apache Indians has good action scenes and an intelligent script. A sheriff and his prisoner, accused of murder, argue with a Cavalry officer about the ethics of violence, but when the Indians attack it's kill or be killed. However, romantic subplots involving the women are not nearly as interesting and detract from an otherwise excellent western from Universal-International.

A Royal Scandal (1945)

Twentieth-Century Fox
Directed by Otto Preminger
My rating: 2.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(VHS, Fox)
(Fox Movie Channel)

Tallulah Bankhead is Catherine the Great of Russia. She seduces a loyal member of her army and promotes him to leader of the palace guards. He must deal with not only her fickleness, but an incipient coup. It reveals its theater origins by the confined quarters and stagy feel, but does offer up some choice, fast-paced dialogue by Tallulah and her costars.

Charge of the Lancers (1954)

Columbia Pictures
Directed by William Castle
My rating: BOMB
IMDb
(DVD, Sony Screen Classics by Request)

Cheap Sam Katzman-William Castle production that pits Russians against Englishman posing as gypsies in the Crimean War. The characters are little more than cardboard stereotypes and the sets obvious California back lots. Paulette Goddard as the gypsy woman Tanya is not only one of her worst performances, but one of the worst performances by anyone I've seen in quite some time.

Crime Against Joe (1956)

United Artists
Directed by Lee Sholem
My rating: 1.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, MGM Limited Edition Collection)

Drive-in schlock suffers from poor acting and a predictable script, from the director of several Jungle Jim movies. "Joe" is a painter living at home with mom. One night he gets drunk and implicated in a murder. Julie London lies to the police to give him an alibi and then helps him track down the real killer. You will guess his identity long before they do.

The Star Packer (1934)

Lone Star Pictures
Directed by Robert N. Bradbury
My rating: 1.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Reel Enterprises)
(Encore)

Early John Wayne western borrows many of its outlandish plot devices from serials. In a dusty western town a villain by the name of "The Shadow" gives orders to his henchman via a fake wall safe. Underground tunnels lead to a hollowed-out tree stump where a gunman gets the upper hand. The final chase scene has Wayne garbed in a white bandana on a white horse following a runaway stagecoach over a cliff to save the girl.

Just Off Broadway (1942)

Twentieth-Century Fox
Directed by Herbert I. Leeds
My rating: 1.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Fox Movie Channel)

Lloyd Nolan is Detective Michael Shayne. As a juror on a murder trial, he gets away with: hiding a murder weapon in the courtroom, drugging his roommate and leaving the hotel, sending letters and hand signals to the DA during the trial, interrupting the trial on numerous occasions to ask his own questions, introducing new evidence, including knives, hidden under his jacket and calling the prosecuting attorney to the witness stand. All believability is tossed right out the window.

Bomba and the Jungle Girl (1952)

Monogram Pictures
Directed by Ford Beebe
My rating: 1.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Turner Classic Movies)

Bomba goes deep in the jungle in search of his parents where he finds a tribe being ruled by a false king. I'm not sure if the jungle girl of the title was supposed to be white teenager Karen Sharpe or the black woman trailing Bomba, neither of whom are very important to the plot. Anyway, Bomba finds his parents buried in a cave. A diary explains everything, including Bomba's last name, which was "Hastings", but his first name is not revealed.

The Notorious Lone Wolf (1946)

Columbia Pictures
Directed by D. Ross Lederman
My rating: 1.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Turner Classic Movies)

Lanyard returns from the war and wastes no time getting involved in a far-fetched plot to recover a stolen sapphire. Lanyard and Jameson spend most of the movie dressed as royal Arabs, complete with turbans and fake facial hair. Lanyard's "wolf" side is played up more than usual, as he tries to seduce pretty Janis Carter. Gerald Mohr replaced Warren William as the Lone Wolf and the result is an embarrassing drop in quality.

Night in Paradise (1946)

Universal Pictures
Directed by Arthur Lubin
My rating: 1.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Turner Classic Movies)

High-school level drama set in ancient Greece stars Merle Oberon as a Persian princess. She is engaged to marry the miserly King Croesus but falls in love with Aesop who is a political prisoner in his kingdom. Aesop is disguised as an old and infirm man, but really is young and handsome. The King is also being tormented by a sorceress who appears in mirrors, flames, etc. About the only thing that kept me interested was Merle's costume changes.

Screamers (1995)

Columbia Pictures
Directed by Christian Duguay
My rating: BOMB
IMDb
(DVD, Sony)
(Encore)

Philip K. Dick story is bastardized by Hollywood into cliche-ridden, macho-military characters who wander around a post-nuke planet inhabited by robots. The tired plot device of is-it-human or is-it-a-robot is run into the ground by multiple false endings. It is hard to care for any of these characters, human or robot. The computer generated special effects are laughably primitive, although there is an all-too-brief stop motion animated sequence.

Joe Dakota (1957)

Universal-International Pictures
Directed by Richard Bartlett
My rating: 2.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Encore)

Stranger Jock Mahoney arrives in an isolated town where all the residents are working at an oil well. They treat him with suspicion and disrespect, but Mahoney is not intimidated. It turns out the town has got a secret and Mahoney is going to uncover it. Another solid drama from the always reliable Universal-International western factory.

Vote for Huggett (1949)

Gainsborough Pictures
Directed by Ken Annakin
My rating: 2.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Turner Classic Movies)

The typical English family the Huggetts are back in another leisurely entry in the series. This time Dad writes a letter to the editor which gets him embroiled in local politics. He ends up running for councilman, much to the chagrin of Mom who worries about the responsibilities of being a councilman's wife, such as public speeches or entertaining royalty. Susan Huggett uncovers a plot to slander Dad's name by way of a bogus land deal. Little Petula Huggett organizes a poster campaign. It's all innocent fun from a bygone era in suburban England.

Youth Without Youth (2007)

Sony Pictures Classics
Directed by Francis Ford Coppola
My rating: 1.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Blu-Ray, DVD, Sony)
(Starz)

Tim Roth is struck by lightning one day in Bucharest. After a recovery in the hospital, he finds he is half his age and possesses supernatural powers. The Nazis are after him for biological experiments while philosophers want him for his intellect. He meets, or rather re-meets, his soul mate one day on a mountain. She too is struck by lightning, but instead of youth she finds herself possessed by an ancient Indian mystic and speaking in strange tongues. Together they search for the origins of language. Laughable attempt at filmization of an impossible-to-film story by Mircea Eliade. Coppola indulges in gimmicky camerawork, such as meaningless upside-down shots. The pervasive digital effects give it a cold, steely, soul-less feeling, much like the characters which populate it.

Don't Play Us Cheap (1973)

Directed by Melvin Van Peebles
My rating: 1.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Xenon)
(Encore)

Amateur production from Melvin Van Peebles is essentially a filmed play: it all takes place in one small apartment in Harlem. The occasion is the birthday party of a naive 20-year-old girl. A couple of "bats out of hell" (literally) show up to spoil the fun by tempting her with love and other diversions. The guests of the party laugh, drink and eat, but mostly sing songs with blues and gospel influences. The songs save it from being a complete disaster.

Cast a Dark Shadow (1955)

Eros Films
Directed by Lewis Gilbert
My rating: 3 stars out of 4
IMDb
(VHS, Madacy)
(Turner Classic Movies)

Dirk Bogarde is a young playboy who preys on lonely middle aged women. He lures them into marriage and then murders them for their money. He bumps off his current wife by getting her drunk and faking an accident. However, he is left out of her will and must find a new victim. In steps Margaret Lockwood, recently widowed and wealthy. Complicating the issue is another woman who appears on the scene and appears to be after his affections as well. It all leads to a rather unpredictable unraveling for the denouement.

Laramie (1949)

Columbia Pictures
Directed by Ray Nazarro
My rating: 1.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Sony Screen Classics by Request)

An Indian scout for the Cavalry is killing men on both sides to stoke the flames of war and sell guns for profit. Steve Starrett is a government man trying to negotiate peace, but he also has a secret identity as the Durango Kid and goes after the traitor with his guns and fists. This B western has a high quota of songs, including Elton Britt with virtuoso yodeling and Smiley Burnette with gimmicky ballads.

Once a Thief (1965)

MGM
Directed by Ralph Nelson
My rating: 3 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Turner Classic Movies)

Alain Delon and Ann-Margret are a sexy couple living in San Francisco. He's a reformed thief working on the docks. One day he is framed for murder and arrested by diligent police officer Van Heflin. He is released due to lack of evidence. However he loses his job and is turned down for unemployment. In steps his long lost brother Jack Palance who offers him a piece of a million dollar platinum heist. The job goes off without a hitch, until the split when one of the other henchmen decides he wants it all. Character actor John Davis Chandler is brilliant as the sleepy-eyed thug. An overlooked and under appreciated gem that is well-written, well-acted and has a cool jazz soundtrack.

Great Catherine (1968)

Warner Bros/Seven Arts
Directed by Gordon Flemyng
My rating: 2.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Turner Classic Movies)

British diplomat Peter O'Toole goes to St. Petersburg to see Russian empress Catherine the Great, played by Jeanne Moreau. She lives in an absurd world within a great castle attended by hundreds of courtesans, her every word law. Zero Mostel overplays his role as a high-ranking guard with a ravenous appetite for food and drink. He dominates the early scenes and is a disgusting sight to behold. However, his character fades and the relationship between O'Toole and Moreau becomes the focus. The film is uneven, the scenes during the royal ball feature some spectacularly choreographed and hilarious native Russian dancing. However, it can also be juvenile, such as the Battle of Bunker hill fought in miniature in the bathroom or the tickling episodes. Reminiscent of the earlier Tom Jones, in fact I would even say it's slightly better than that much lauded film.

African Treasure (1952)

Monogram Pictures
Directed by Ford Beebe
My rating: 1.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Turner Classic Movies)

Bomba tracks down diamond miners who are using the father of a native girl and others as slaves. Bomba's pet chimp Kimbbo helps out more than usual and there is extensive use of talking jungle drums for communication. The African river looks more like a lagoon on a California golf course.

Passport to Suez (1943)

Columbia Pictures
Directed by Andre De Toth
My rating: 2.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Sony Screen Classics by Request)
(Turner Classic Movies)

Lanyard and butler Jameson deal with spies while in Alexandria, Egypt. The Nazis want a map of the mine field in the Suez Canal. Jameson's new daughter-in-law may be the key to finding it. Despite the dated plot, this Lone Wolf entry is fast paced and very entertaining. I never knew Lanyard could fly a biplane.

The Liquidator (1965)

MGM
Directed by Jack Cardiff
My rating: 2 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Turner Classic Movies)

American GI Rod Taylor is hired by the British secret service as an assassin. It's and odd choice, because he abhors violence. Rod finds the money, and the girls, irresistible so takes the job anyway. He hires another hit man to carry out the killings while romancing as many sexy spies as possible. He goes to the Cote D'Azur where he gets duped into carrying out a hit on a British royal. It's a poor spoof of James Bond, complete with obnoxious theme song by Shirley Bassey.

Just You and Me, Kid (1979)

Columbia Pictures
Directed by Leonard Stern
My rating: 2.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Turner Classic Movies)

George Burns is basically playing himself, a retired comedian living alone in his posh mansion, when he finds Brooke Shields naked in the trunk of his antique car. She is on the run from her pimp after stealing 20K in cash. Burns finds something to give his life meaning, but Brooke is slow to warm up to the idea. Well, the pimp eventually shows up and it is up to Burns and some of his aging friends to save her. An old fashioned movie built around cliched characters and predictable situations, but stirs up nostalgia for old, forgotten Hollywood, much like George Burns himself.

The Day They Robbed the Bank of England (1960)

MGM
Directed by John Guillermin
My rating: 3 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Turner Classic Movies)

American Aldo Ray agrees to help Irish revolutionaries rob the Bank of England to make a political statement. Although it seems impossible at first, Ray concocts a plan to dig into the bank through the old London sewer system. They choose a long weekend to dig the tunnel and actually succeed in breaking through. However, the Irish call off the plan leaving the diggers with millions in gold bullion but no way to get it out. This anticlimactic ending is perhaps the film's greatest weakness.

Here Come the Huggetts (1948)

Gainsborough Pictures
Directed by Ken Annakin
My rating: 2.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Turner Classic Movies)

The Huggetts are a typical suburban English family at the end of WWII. Dad works at the factory, mom is a housewife and their three daughters are going through various growing pains. Enter bombshell Diana Dors, a troubled cousin dropped onto their doorstep. She gets an office job at Dad's factory but bungles an order and almost gets him fired. The youngest daughter suspects her of breaking up her parent's marriage. She goes dancing with another daughter's boyfriend. Enjoyable if predictable fluff whose main interest today is a glimpse at the daily life of a bygone era.

Pioneer Justice (1947)

PRC
Directed by Ray Taylor
My rating: 1.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Encore)

Gamblers are swindling the homesteaders in a dusty western town. Lash La Rue and Fuzzy St. John root out the gang responsible and hunt for their boss. Lash is quite good with not only his gun but his whip. However, Fuzzy gets the best scene as the new sheriff at the end.

Mindwarp (1992)

Fangoria Films
Directed by Steve Barnett
My rating: 1.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(VHS, Sony)
(Encore)

In the near future people lead dream lives plugged in to computers. A girl decides she wants to see the "real world" and wakes up in a barren, post-nuke landscape inhabited by cannibal mutants. She meets loner Bruce Campbell but they get captured and spend most of the movie in a hellish underworld ruled by Angus Scrimm. There are bloody sacrifices, torture and other unpleasant scenes using slimy, gooey special effects. Don't worry though, in a predictable plot twist it all turns out to be a dream-within-a-dream.

Drum Beat (1954)

Warner Bros.
Directed by Delmer Daves
My rating: 2.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(VHS, VCI)
(Turner Classic Movies)

Alan Ladd is an Indian fighter trying to make peace with Indians on the war path in Oregon. They are lead by Charles Bronson as "Captain Jack", a murderous Indian who likes to steal the medals and uniforms of his victims. After Bronson shoots unarmed peace negotiators, Ladd has no choice but to resort to violence to reign in the renegade Indians. A romantic subplot adds unnecessary complications. While the location shooting is good, it is obviously Arizona and not Oregon.

Ice People (2008)

Milestone Film
Directed by Anne Aghion
My rating: 2.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Gacaca Productions)
(Sundance)

Geologists in Antarctica dig around in the dirt for clues about the past. For this privilege, they endure harsh cold, cramped living conditions and virtually no other people. The two experienced professors justify it mainly as a chance to solve a great puzzle. Their two undergraduate students may not be so sure. You can hear it in the voice of the girl while talking on satellite phone to her grandmother on Thanksgiving. The other undergrad is wondering how his religious views are going to fit in with his career as a scientist. However, most of the running time is spent with long takes of the wind and snow swept landscape. The cold digital photography does not do it justice.

Little Darlings (1980)

Paramount Pictures
Directed by Ronald F. Maxwell
My rating: 1.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(VHS, Paramount)
(Turner Classic Movies)

Tatum O'Neal and Kristy McNichol bow to teenage peer pressure and make a bet at summer camp, the winner being the first to lose their virginity. O'Neal falls for camp teacher Armand Assante. She visits him in his cabin, where he keeps plenty of beer and wine on hand, but she can't convince him to seduce her. Meanwhile, McNichol pursues Matt Dillon, the bad boy across the lake. They eventually do have sex in a boathouse, but she doesn't tell anyone because she really is in love with him. It's melodramatic teen nonsense, with McNichol turning on the water works not once but three times in an effort to "act". Dillon mumbles his lines while taking off his shirt and O'Neal, well I can't quite figure out what she does in this movie.

The Silver Bullet (1942)

Universal Pictures
Directed by Joseph H. Lewis
My rating: 2 stars out of 4
IMDb
(VHS, VCI)
(Encore)

Johnny Mack Brown may be my favorite B-western star. He's tough, he's real, there is never any doubt it's him doing the fighting and other stunt work. This production has a couple of entertaining fight scenes, including one in a saloon towards the beginning which incorporates unusual point of view angles. Great fun to see Brown staring right at you and throwing a punch. Fuzzy Knight's support work as the stuttering sidekick, though, leaves a lot to be desired. You know you are in trouble when you have to resort to dressing in drag to get laughs. Pretty Jennifer Holt is the romantic interest.

Arrow in the Dust (1954)

Allied Artists
Directed by Lesley Selander
My rating: 2 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Turner Classic Movies)

Sterling Hayden is a deserter who assumes command of a Cavalry unit when their replacement is killed en route. His plan is to tag along with a wagon train to Oregon but he gets more than he bargained for when they are relentlessly attacked by Indians. After awhile it becomes clear the Indians are after something in the wagon train, either a load of whiskey or perhaps something else. Coleen Gray is the pioneer woman that provides the romantic subplot. Action scenes are mostly borrowed stock footage that show up in other films. For example, I spotted the same hilarious scene of flaming toy Indians going over a cliff in 1955's Seminole Uprising.

Assignment - Paris (1952)

Columbia Pictures
Directed by Robert Parrish
My rating: 2 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Sony Screen Classics by Request)

Dana Andrews is an American newspaper reporter in Paris. He gets involved with spies behind the Iron Curtain and goes to Hungary to investigate. He is arrested and sentenced to death. However, back in Paris his editor arranges an exchange with a Hungarian revolutionary. Despite some location shooting with the actual actors in long shots, it still relies on back projection for close-ups. The film simply lacks style and feels like a manufactured Hollywood product.

Knight Without Armor (1937)

United Artists
Directed by Jacques Feyder
My rating: 2.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(VHS, Samuel Goldwyn)
(Turner Classic Movies)

Robert Donat is a British spy in Russia. He is captured during the days leading up to WWI and sent to Siberia. After the war, he saves princess Marlene Dietrich from revolutionaries. They go on the run disguised as peasants and naturally fall in love. A talky drama that paints in broad strokes, covering too much history via too many characters. Still, it does have its moments, such as nicely photographed scenes of trains overloaded with refugees. Marlene gets a classic line filled with sexual innuendo after bathing in the great outdoors when she says to Donat: "Do you like my forest?" His reply? "I adore it".

By Love Possessed (1961)

United Artists
Directed by John Sturges
My rating: 1.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, MGM Limited Edition Collection)

Efrem Zimbalist, Jr., is a lawyer in a typical American town. He's the "pillar of the community" and straight as an arrow. However, it's all a sham and his personal life is falling apart. He's having an affair with the wife of his law partner, an impotent cripple. Even worse, his son is accused of raping the local tramp. The unpleasant complications just go on and on...suicide, embezzlement....accompanied by soaring violins and dramatic piano flourishes. Perhaps the worst example of the kind of trashy soap opera that was coming out of Hollywood following the success of co-star Lana Turner's similar travesty Peyton Place in 1957.

Johnny Mnemonic (1995)

TriStar Pictures
Directed by Robert Longo
My rating: BOMB
IMDb
(Blu-Ray, Image Entertainment)
(Starz)

Keanu Reeves carries the cure for a worldwide virus in a brain implant. The pharmacy company that discovered it wants it back, while underground fighters with face tattoos in a crumbling Newark, NJ, want to share it with the rest of the world. It's all an excuse to glorify hopelessly outdated technology, indulge in clunky computer animated dream sequences and torment the audience with gory death scenes. Keanu is wooden and the supporting cast includes non-actor musicians like Henry Rollins and Ice-T. Absolutely dreadful.

Julie (1956)

MGM
Directed by Andrew L. Stone
My rating: 1.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Warner Archive Collection)

Doris Day spends the entire movie running away from her homicidal husband. The characters are so unconvincing that it becomes almost comical at times: her husband sits at the piano and plays dramatic music while Doris provides running narration about her doubts of his sanity. He eventually catches up with her on an airplane where she works as a stewardess. He kills the pilots leaving who else but Doris to bring the plane in for a landing. Blatant attempt to rip off Hitchcock-style dramatics fails in every department other than unintentional laughs.

Elephant Stampede (1951)

Monogram Pictures
Directed by Ford Beebe
My rating: 1.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Turner Classic Movies)

Bomba fights ivory poachers in the jungle. Meanwhile, he is oblivious to the romantic overtures of a girl trying to teach him to read. Can you spell "juvenile"?

Counter-espionage (1942)

Columbia Pictures
Directed by Edward Dmytryk
My rating: 2 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Sony Screen Classics by Request)
(Turner Classic Movies)

The Lone Wolf turns undercover Nazi spy hunter in blitzkrieg-era London. He uses secret plans for a "beam detector" as bait. However, Scotland Yard and his old American nemeses are hot on his trail, convinced he is really working for the Nazis. It's badly dated and relies on stereotypes for characterization.

Mail Order Bride (1964)

MGM
Directed by Burt Kennedy
My rating: 2 stars out of 4
IMDb
(DVD, Warner Archive Collection)
(Turner Classic Movies)

Contrived comedy-western with Buddy Ebsen playing matchmaker to Keir Dullea and Lois Nettleton in Montana. Ebsen is fine if subdued in his role as the reluctant caretaker of the son of a dead friend. Dullea, however, is out of his element here as a rambunctious cowpoke: he is loud, annoying, never funny and has zero chemistry with the mail order bride Nettleton, even after they are supposed to fall in love. Beaver Cleaver's kid brother is the cute kid.

Westward the Women (1951)

MGM
Directed by William A. Wellman
My rating: 3 stars out of 4
IMDb
(VHS, MGM)
(Turner Classic Movies)

Rod Taylor leads a group of over 100 women from Chicago to California, to be brides for lonely men on a ranch. Their trek by wagon train across the country is chronicled in detail. Some of them leave in the middle of the night with the men hired to help them make the crossing. Those left must do the heavy work required to cross harsh desert landscapes, defend against Indian attacks and deal with internal strife. Written by Frank Capra, characters are believable and the story well-paced. However, with this many women involved it's hard to avoid certain melodramatic trappings, such as the eye-rolling conclusion with the men and women pairing off in California.

Ghost of Hidden Valley (1946)

PRC
Directed by Sam Newfield
My rating: 1.5 stars out of 4
IMDb
(Encore)

Buster and Fuzzy help a greenhorn from England deal with rustlers on the dilapidated ranch he inherits. A butler named Tweedle provides comic relief while pretty neighbor Jean Carlin is the romantic interest. The ghost angle is hardly mentioned at all.